I am such a cheerful and giving person, that most people would never guess that sometimes winter makes me sad. I had planned on meeting Genni and Merry, two new friends from my barre workout, for coffee and maybe a teeny bit of shopping at the new boutique in town this morning, and I was really looking forward to it. Since Röbert’s mom and my parents are absolutely selfish and don’t love their grandchildren enough to want to visit with them, I had arranged for a girl who works at the dry cleaner to come by and babysit for Hummus. But when she didn’t show up at 9 AM, as we had arranged, I called her and she had some lame excuse about the weather being bad and she is scared to drive on ice, blah blah, blah. Let me tell you, she will not soon forget the words I had for her about her laziness and lack of a work ethic.
I went downstairs to discover that Röbert was actually still home, as were Starling and Merlin. I was furious with them, skipping school is not okay in my book, but according to them school was closed. After I called up the Superintendent of Schools to give his answering machine a lil’ piece of my mind, I realized that I could leave all of them with Röbert, since he was apparently planning on working from home.
Believe me, this is way too casual for work! He looks like a homeless person with his shirt untucked like that.
I thought I was being very quiet as a I snuck out the back door (Röbert can be very sensitive about needing time to “work” when he works at home), but Röbert apparently heard me and I heard him say, “Good luck!”
The entire yard was filled with snow. It was awful and I burst into tears. It would have taken me forever to dig a path out for my car and the road was still unplowed. I went back inside and called the Public Works Department to remind them to plow my road and ask, very politely, if they could maybe do my driveway too, while they were at it. The lady who answered the phone was extremely rude and her supervisor will be hearing from me.
I am an active person and I like to be out and about. Merlin was driving me batty with his constant requests to go outside and sled and he actually wanted me to make hot cocoa for him and Starling. Sure. As if I have a recipe for something like that. Everyone knows that is what Starbucks is for.
Finally, at 11:25, I gave up and just invited Karen over for a lil’ girl talk. She is overweight and elderly, but she beats talking with my children.
Seconds before we started in on the vodka shots.
We watched Ellen and The Chew and then she told me a really funny story about Margie that I would repeat here, but I don’t believe in spreading gossip. Suffice it to say that if Margie thinks her hideous husband is faithful, then she needs to go look at the cars in the parking lot in front of the Sleepy Hollow Motel one day at lunch time. She thinks she is so much better than the rest of us.
Now I am going to shut my eyes for a few seconds because I have a lil’ my grain. The kids are watching Frozen again and I gave them a lil’ whiskey in the instant cocoa Karen brought with her, to keep them docile. Instant cocoa! Can you imagine? It even had marshmallows in it.