Tag Archives: swim class

Water Play

One of the things that Hummus likes best about his new school is the river that runs behind the playground.  He always asks to play in it, but of course  I never thought they would let him.  This afternoon when I arrived a couple of minutes early for pick-up, they had all of the children who don’t belong to their church playing in the water.  I wasn’t concerned because there were a lot of adults down there watching and supervising (and for some reason, praying)  Hummus was wearing some clothes that belong to the school (he must have run through all of the changes of clothing I left with him…this potty training is hard!) and was watching while the teachers appeared to be teaching the “worldly” children to swim. The children of the church members were up on the playground, also praying.

I am not sure about who is who at this particular church, because I have heard that the Reverend Wattle is married to Hummus’s teacher, but then I have heard his name mentioned as the husband of several women.  Maybe Miss Sherrilynn is just his daughter.  Anywho, he was down there and taking each child and shouting “I cast you out, Satan!  Satan, I cast you out!” and dunking the child in the water to learn to swim.  I was delighted, because Hummus won’t ever let his face get wet, even in the tub, but Reverend Wattle just dunked him right under.

A lil' fun in the river today.

My lil’ fundie!  He looked considerably less delighted after his swim lesson.

I wonder why they decided to teach them to swim on such a chilly day?  I would have asked, but I had to get Hummus over to the babysitter before book club.

A Lil’ Inspiration

I hope all of my readers with chubby lil’ girls will show them the latest photos of Starling.  She should be an inspiration to all girls!

Last Wednesday was the first day of swim lessons, and guess who is in Starling’s class?  Fat Alice.  LOL!  I thought Starling did a great job suppressing her laughter.  And when the swim instructor was reprimanding her for talking about blue whales I almost went right down to give him a piece of my mind.  Starling loves sharing her knowledge about whales and it isn’t her fault that Fat Alice was wearing a blue swimsuit.

I must say Fat Alice’s mother is a very unfriendly sort.  If you didn’t understand social cachet, then you would almost think she was trying to snub me, LOL!  Luckily a couple of the gals from Barre-Intensive were there and we had a lovely time ignoring her.

On the way home Starling was reflecting on what an unattractive little girl Fat Alice is and I reminded her that Fat Alice is also ugly on the inside, which is why she is so ugly on the outside. This really seemed to resonate with Starling and since then she has doubled down on her dieting, often skipping meals and making healthy choices like diet coke instead of sugary fruit juice.

Today she put on a dress I had forbidden her to wear because it made her look positively huge and she looked very nice and skinny in it. Even the horizontal striped leggings, which are no one’s friend made her legs look slender.

Way to go, Starling!

No more pear-shaped figure in her pear dress.

No more pear-shaped figure in her pear dress.