Tag Archives: Starbucks makes terrible coffee

Our Greatest American

I don’t usually talk much about politics on my blog.  In fact, you could call this a “politics free zone”.  If you keep up with me on Twitter you probably know how I am planning to vote, but I don’t like to parade my superior understanding of what we need in the Oval Office in front of my  less well educated friends.  Like Mr. Trump, “I love the poorly educated!”  (February, 2016)

Right now I am furious though!  All of a sudden people are rising up against Mr. Trump, calling him a Nazi and, even worse, a bad America.  He is our greatest American!  He tells it like he sees it, and he sees it like the rest of us do!  At least like the rest of us smart people do!

For instance he said that “Looks obviously matter”in a clip they showed on that damned communist show, hosted by a foreigner, “Last Week Tonight”.  Of course looks matter.  Do you think Eleanor Roosevelt would make a splash today, what with all her do goodiness, save the world blah blah blah?  No!  She would be home saving her pennies for some Botox and cutting photos of the Kardashians out of her “In Touch” magazines.

He also pointed out some important ideas having to do with commerce back in November when Starbucks came up with their anti-Christmas paper cups.  “No more ‘Merry Christmas” at Starbucks,” he said, “Maybe we should boycott Starbucks.” Of course we should boycott Starbucks!  Their coffee is disgusting and I don’t care for the high-handed way they insist on us ordering made up sizes.  Venti, get benty.  I’d like a medium please!

When he pointed out that Carly Fiorino is not a pretty girl in Rolling Stone last September, who among us did not silently agree?  “Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?”  No sir, I can’t.

Donald-Trump-Funny-Face

But here, here is a face I can totally imagine as our next president!

It seems like every single thing he says is just brilliant and makes me feel better about myself. Ugly women are worse people than me! If they cared they would be slim and stylish. Muslims and other foreigns should be kept out of our country, except if they want to do menial labor we are not interested in. We need a wall to keep Mexicans at home in Mexico. All brilliant and forward thinking ideas.

I think that when a man this attractive criticizes the appearances of women, it pays to stand up and pay attention.  And then maybe feel a lil’ worse about yourself.  Get it together ladies!

Finally, and the thing I can’t help nodding my head in agreement with over and over, is what Mr. Trump told the New York Times last August.  “Heidi Klum. Sadly, she is no longer a 10.”  She is barely a 6!  And she gets uglier every day that she doesn’t answer my letter and avoids my calls, emails and texts.  I am so glad to have a candidate who tells it like it is when it comes to the appearance of our celebrities!

Like the great power couples of the past, Ronnie and Nancy, Tricky Dick and Pat etc., Trump brings with him a very classy first lady, what’s her name!  Her name is definitely not Ivana although she is pretty much cut of the same cloth as that lovely lady.  Donald sure can pick ’em! Anyway, I have to wonder what she would focus her considerable brain power on if she were to become the next first lady.  Would she make it her mission to move all of the homeless people out to where the poors live, maybe West Virginia or Oklahoma or some such, so our gently brought up children don’t have to see them?  Homeless people would be so much more comfortable if they weren’t faced with wealthy people all the time! Perhaps she would focus on education, making sure the children of the poors don’t fill their heads with silly facts and ideas that will just confuse them later in life.  Vocational training starting in kindergarten for the under-performing schools! I can also see her championing universal injectibles!  That is a segment of health care that has been largely ignored by that man, Obama!

3:8:16 MElania

She has this same “deep thinker” look on her face in every picture.  She would make such a fine role model for all the girls.  Ooops!  Are those her nipples?  No matter! I am sure she would bring class and deep intellectual discourse to all of our state dinners.

So, if you think you don’t like Donald Trump, think again.  He represents all of our values of standing up for good looks, keeping women home, where they belong and keeping foreigners from stealing our high powered jobs (I am looking at you, Heidi!)

trump 3:8:16

Not an actual photo.  I learned a lil’ photo editing to put this one together.

I can’t wait until we claim victory, as in the above photo, in November!  Make America classy again!