Tag Archives: soccer

Poor Ty

I have reached out to Ty several times since the police unjustly railroaded him into confessing to my shooting.  His lawyer must had advised him not to contact me until after the trial, because he is not taking my calls or texts, or letters.  I did notice his old soccer team was playing a game today when I looked at their schedule by accident online.  I happened to be in the area and saw Ty with my telephoto lens I was using to shoot photos of a rare bird species I had read was spotted nearby.  He seems to have lost some of the weight and looked much happier than he has been in a while.  It must be such a relief to him to know that Renata has moved on to another man.  Maybe he will be back to teaching Merlin soon!

1:18:16 fatty

He mustn’t know about the Edible Arrangement I sent to his parents home last week or he would for sure have stopped by to thank me.

Come On! They Must Be Making Up Teams!

Why did I ever let Merlin sign up for soccer?  Sure, he loves it, but it is just so inconvenient for me.

Not only does he now play on the travel team, but he is on a regional all-star team that plays even more games.  Now I just found out that he has also been chosen for a state all-star team. They only play one game, thank the lord, but I don’t think I can make it to that one too.

Honestly? I wouldn't be all that upset if he had a minor, career ending injury. How does one go about tearing and ACL? What is an ACL?

Honestly? I wouldn’t be all that upset if he had a minor, career ending injury. How does one go about tearing and ACL? What is an ACL?

Soccer Mom

Does anyone actually enjoy all of the endless assemblies, recitals and athletic events that their kids participate in?  Merlin has never seen a club or team he doesn’t want to join, so my burden is particularly onerous.  And it isn’t like there is just one debate or soccer game to celebrate the season; they happen week after week.

But here is the thing:  there are moms who attend all of it, every single game and performance.  I have even seen moms sitting and watching practice as if the haven’t a care in the world.  Are you kidding me?  Who has time for that?

The other day Kathleen Moriarty, the mother of that freckled little troll, Kevin, asked me why I hadn’t been to a single soccer game this year.  Because I didn’t know that soccer games had begun yet, maybe?  How am I supposed to keep track of everything?  I guess Kathleen Moriarty is probably too busy not minding her own business to be a part of our book club again this year.  Sorry, Kathleen.  All full up.

Since I am really a terrific mom, and because Cleia had a my grain, so Hot Yoga was cancelled at the last minute, Hummus and I were on the sidelines cheering our footy guy on this afternoon.  I am not sure if we won or lost, but that really doesn’t matter, does it?

Oh, hi Kathleen.  Are those new white sneakers you are wearing?

Oh, hi Kathleen. Are those white sneakers you’re wearing new?


Travel Team

Röbert is so excited that Merlin made the travel team in our local soccer league.  Of course he did!  He takes after me athletically.

There is only one travel team for his age group, and our local league is one of the best in the state, so I am expecting big things from these little guys.  Their coach is (of course) the ever-present Cliff Harris.  What the hell does that man do for a living that he is available for every single play, sports team and recital?  I know that Röbby would be a much better coach, but he hardly has the time!

The assistant coach this year is none other than Mr. Williams (Ty).  He played soccer in college, but he explained to me that he won’t be able to make all of the games and practices, because he dedicates so much time to his work.  The kids are all thrilled to see him there and he has some really fun drills for them.

Best buds

Best buds

I am putting Merlin on a special diet and training regimen so he can be the best on the team. I will be relieved to not have to listen to Margie brag about her lil’ monsters all of the time.

Rotten Kid

I can not even believe the story that Merlin just told me!  I swear that kid will be the ruin of me, someday.  I was working at my computer and just happened to have a picture of Renata up on the screen. I am not sure how it even got there. Merlin, who had snuck up behind me again, said, “Hey look!  It is the pretty lady!”

Apparently last fall he had stayed after school to do something with Mr. Williams (Ty to me, but Merlin has to call him Mr. Williams because he is his teacher, LOL) and when Mr. Williams was dropping him off, I wasn’t home.  I must have been out doing something important or tending to some emergency or something.  Anywho, Merlin told Mr. Williams that he could drop him off at the Sullivans’ house instead.

When they got inside, according to Merlin, Karen was doing “gym class” with a pretty lady and he said to Ty, “Hey Mr. Williams, look at that pretty lady!”  I am sure everyone laughed and that would have been that, but no.

A few weeks later, or days, who knows, Ty took Merlin to the park to kick the soccer ball and Merlin saw “the pretty lady” reading a book on the grass.  Of course the little wretch had to run over and say “hi” to Mrs. Sullivan’s friend. Then he called Ty over and said,”Remember the pretty lady who plays gym with Mrs. Sullivan?  Don’t you think she is pretty, Mr. Williams?”  Of course Ty had to say yes, what else could he do?  I am sure it was mortifying for everyone.  Somehow Renata forced her phone number into Ty’s phone at that meeting (I am sure that wasn’t so pretty) and he must have felt obligated to call her because, as Merlin tells it, he came into the classroom the next day and told Merlin that he had a date with the pretty lady for dinner that night.

My own rotten little brat introduced Ty to the woman who will be his downfall, and never bothered to tell me about it.

He looks like a normal kid, but honestly?  So annoying most of the time.  Of course i love him to pieces, but often want to tear him to pieces at the same time.  Motherhood!

He looks like a normal kid, but honestly? So annoying most of the time. Of course i love him to pieces, but often want to tear him to pieces at the same time. Motherhood!

In other news, I think I’d better make an appointment to get his eyes checked.  Pretty lady?

Happy Independence Day!

We got up bright and early this morning and dropped off Hummus with his Grandmama for the day.  I had left him there yesterday, but I guess she didn’t understand that she was supposed to keep him, because her housekeeper was waiting with him in my house when I got home yesterday afternoon and she didn’t seem at all pleased with me.  Ugh.  Why is Röbert’s mom such a pill?  Anywho, she was so insistent on a specific pick up time today and I was really surprised that Röbby said late afternoon.  The camp is a bit of a drive but late afternoon?  It turns out that there is a tournament at the end of camp!!!!  Horrible!  I was expected to sit through several games of soccer and an awards ceremony?!?!

I can’t even begin to describe how tedious it was.  Some of the parents seemed to think we were all there to make friends and this one man had a mustache and was wearing a Game of Thrones t-shirt.  I died.

The awards ceremony was very cheering though.  Lots and lots of awards for my lil’ angle!  He got some dumb ones of course “Kindest Kid” and “Most Spirited”  (I’ll say he is spirited!) but then he won the overall award for best player in camp so the mustache guy and his troll wife can suck it.

We drove back to Grandmama’s to pick up Hummus and were heading out to the lake but I had forgotten Starling’s outfit for tonight at home.  Röbert kept insisting that we couldn’t go home, but I needed that outfit, so I cried until he brought me back to get it.

Guess who is having her lil’ Fourth of July party again this year, despite being humiliated and fat and single and having not a friend in the world?  Karen.  I guess she waited until I was out of town having a fab overnight at a gorgeous lake house with my hot husband to bribe a few other pathetic people to come over and eat her food.  Whatever.

The lake is very upscale for a lake and the house is darling.  Small, but Röbby did well.

And Starling looks so cute in her lil’ outfit that I am sure Röbert agrees that the detour home was well worth it!

Ahoy mateys!  Batten down the hatches for adorableness.

Ahoy mateys! Batten down the hatches for adorableness.

I don’t care at all about Karen’s stupid party but I would love to know who is there and what is happening.  Not that it isn’t obviously completely pathetic, but still.  Also, since it is right next door, I feel like I should have been invited or at least informed.  Not that I care at all.  I wonder who she even found who would come to her awful, grim party?  I couldn’t care less.


He May Actually Become Popular

Yesterday I was stuck in the car all day driving Merlin up to his soccer camp.  Don’t camps have busses that conveniently pick campers up anymore?  Has anyone even seen Meatballs?

Normally, Röbert would do the driving, but he had a long-planned hiking excursion up to the mountains and apparently Uber is too expensive for long distance travel.  I did find a Greyhound bus that would take him close to the camp, but Röbert thought he might get lost walking the last five miles, especially since he had never been there before.  He might have a point, but I didn’t want to waste a whole day!

I did anticipate Merlin’s incessant chatter and downloaded a Harry Potter audio book for him on an old iPod.  A couple of earbuds later I could chit chat and text with my gal pals on the phone without disturbance.

When we got there, they had all the boys put on their new uniforms and go out and play.  At first, I didn’t want to stay, but there was another mom there with amazing shoes who I wanted to get to know so I hung out with her a bit.  She kept commenting on one fantastic player and when I looked up it was Merlin!

I am shocked by how he doesn't look completely nerdy when he is in a uniform.

I am shocked by how he doesn’t look completely nerdy when he is in a uniform.

On the way home I tried to listen to a podcast about soccer but nope, too boring.  I listened to a new book I had heard about called Grey instead.  I generally only read literary classics and important non-fiction, but this book is so well written and thought provoking.

Anywho, this week is all about me and Starling and finding a place to drop off Hummus for the day.  I am so looking forward to it!