Tag Archives: Margie Harris

Travel Team

Röbert is so excited that Merlin made the travel team in our local soccer league.  Of course he did!  He takes after me athletically.

There is only one travel team for his age group, and our local league is one of the best in the state, so I am expecting big things from these little guys.  Their coach is (of course) the ever-present Cliff Harris.  What the hell does that man do for a living that he is available for every single play, sports team and recital?  I know that Röbby would be a much better coach, but he hardly has the time!

The assistant coach this year is none other than Mr. Williams (Ty).  He played soccer in college, but he explained to me that he won’t be able to make all of the games and practices, because he dedicates so much time to his work.  The kids are all thrilled to see him there and he has some really fun drills for them.

Best buds

Best buds

I am putting Merlin on a special diet and training regimen so he can be the best on the team. I will be relieved to not have to listen to Margie brag about her lil’ monsters all of the time.

Tennis Moms

I think I was just snubbed by Margie Harris, of all people.

I took Hummus over to his first Lil’ Lobsters class at the community courts, and Margie was there with a group of ladies I didn’t recognize.  Margie’s twins have been playing tennis for a few months, and it seems that she knows all of the other moms already.  I got Hummus signed in and decided to join them at the cute lil’ umbrella tables on the patio.  Margie must still have hard feelings about the school gala, because she completely ignored me, and I could see her whispering with the ladies.Honestly, just get over it, Margie!

She must also be rude to her hairdresser, because no one who liked her would make her hair look like that.

She must also be rude to her hairdresser, because no one who liked her would make her hair look like that.

When I sat down the ladies were a bit quiet, but I knew that I would quickly win them over with my vivacious personality.  Poor Margie and her uncoordinated boys didn’t stand a chance.  People just love me, and frankly, Margie is a bit dull.

Everyone, of course, couldn’t believe it when they saw my lil’ toddler burning up the courts.  And when I mentioned that his older brother was heading to an elite soccer camp and genius camp this summer, Margie and her sort of smart twins seemed a little less interesting all of a sudden. By the end of the 45 minute class two of the women were hanging on my every word, and Elana had leaned over to let me know that she had seen Margie’s husband out driving with the waitress from the Club Car Saloon.  Who hasn’t?   I would never gossip of course, because I am such a nice person.

An Affair to Remember

Last night was the wonderful end of year party at the children’s school.  Ty kept teasing me when I called it a gala, but in the end, he agreed that it was one.

The planning committee really dropped the ball.  Margie assured me that she was working on everything we had asked them to do, but when I stopped by the meeting two weeks ago this was the agenda!

It is as if they just didn't care.

It is as if they just didn’t care.

Cari and I had given everyone very specific jobs to do and they ignored them and came up with what sounds like the absolute worst party in the history of the world.  Pizza and juice boxes in the school cafeteria?  No thanks to that.  And I would certainly never allow my name to be used as the chair of that committee!

Once again, it fell to me and Cari to do everything.  Honestly, it was like the committee was made up of small children.

The first thing we did was change the theme.  Ty explained why it couldn’t be one of the great themes I had originally proposed, so we went with the “up” part of Moving Up and called our party “Giddy Up” to give it some structure.  We needed something to work with on such a short time frame.  I threw away the ugly flyers they were working on (children’s art?  Please!) and had some elegant invitations rush ordered.

Merlin got to practice his best handwriting on 434 envelopes.

Merlin got to practice his best handwriting on 434 envelopes.

Margie Harris was so mad that I said that her ugly husband’s terrible band, Man Space, couldn’t play the event, that she quit the committee.  Well good riddance to her.  No one needs to see Cliff Harris and his ridiculous friends in their high waisted jeans plunking out “Smoke on the Water” for the millionth time.

It was so late in the game that absolutely no one famous was available to play for us, but I think Mariah Carey might do it next year.  Anywho, I found this wonderful young artist, Kensington (www.soundcloud.com/kenzieonthebeat), who was able to make it to the gala and kept the dance floor jamming all night long.  Take that Man Space!

We also changed the venue from the school cafeteria.  I know, I know, what could be lovelier and more romantic than the school cafeteria?  LOL!  Well, Cari has been seeing a sweet gentleman who owns a substantial piece of property just outside of town and of course he was delighted to have us borrow his barn for the night!

“James” (we call him that because his family is kind of crazy and doesn’t like him to date) was very generous all around and helped us quite a bit with the costs of such a big party. Honestly, he is very forgetful, but so sweet and giving.

I arrived early to set up, but mostly just supervised “James’s” staff.  I am best at supervising staff.

The grounds around "James's" house are spectacular.  So was my dress.

The grounds around “James’s” house are spectacular. So was my dress.

The barn was nearly all set up when I got there.

It looked so pretty with all of the twinkly lights!  The stage was in front of me so we used the raised area as a VIP section for Starling and her other popular friends.  Of course we didn't call it that, but everyone got the idea.

It looked so pretty with all of the twinkly lights! The stage was in front of me so we used the raised area as a VIP section for Starling and her other popular friends. Of course we didn’t call it that, but everyone got the idea.

“James” and Cari had set up a play area with the menagerie of ponies and lambs and kittens and puppies that he keeps for his currently estranged grandchildren.

Starling formed a real bond with this lil' pony!  I am sure the ring toss in the school cafeteria would have been fun too.

Starling formed a real bond with this lil’ pony! I am sure the ring toss in the school cafeteria would have been fun too.

“James” also has a mechanical bull and some cowboys who did a marvelous demonstration of trick riding and roping baby animals.

My lil' cowpokes loved it!

My lil’ cowpokes loved it!

We had a couple of food trucks who were delighted to give their good friend “James” a substantial discount on their excellent food. He uses them a lot at the corporate events he sets up I think.

“James” had just given Cari a beautiful matched pair of horses for their three week anniversary, so she let us use them to give cart rides for all of the children.

Margie and her friends were fit to be tied when these horses came out.  She looked like she had swallowed a lemon.

Margie and her friends were fit to be tied when these horses came out. She looked like she had swallowed a lemon.

It was hard to get everyone off the dance floor at the end of the night, but “James” had insisted that we have a spectacular fireworks show.  Children just love fireworks, so it was perfect.

Ty came alone.  I wonder if he is single again?

Ty came alone. I wonder if he is single again?

I am exhausted after all of my hard work!  Thanks to James and Cari!  We could not have done it without you two!

Aren't they adorable together?  He has a hard time remembering names and where he is, but he sure remembers how an American Express card works!

Aren’t they adorable together? He has a hard time remembering names and where he is, but he sure remembers how an American Express card works!

 

 

Feeling Better

Today was Abraham Lincoln’s birthday or something.  Who knows, it was a day off for Röbert, which meant I was going to let him spend the day with the littles and see how much he likes being stuck with the constant neediness and boring conversations. I was pretty sure after about 5 minutes he would understand why I had earned more than costume jewelry for Valentine’s Day, not that I have given that a second thought.  It’s water under the bridge.  I know he was planning on going skiing so I got up very early and went to the gym.  Then I took myself out for a nice brunch with a couple of gals from spin class.  We saw Margie at the restaurant but pretended we didn’t.  LOL.

Kyrstyn had heard that there was a shoe sale at this sweet little boutique in a town about an hour from here so we went over and did a lil’ retail therapy.  There wasn’t actually a sale but who cares, the shoes were all darling.

Röbert had the nerve to be angry when I got home, but I burst into tears which shut him right down.

I feel a lot better, not that I was really upset about that Hallmark holiday, if you catch my drift.  I am sure Röbert will find a real anniversary of an important event in our lives to celebrate and get me some actual jewelry.

Aren't they a ll sweet?  I don't know what I will do with all of them but I had to have each and every pair.

Aren’t they a ll sweet? I don’t know what I will do with all of them but I had to have each and every pair.

Now I am going to let him handle the dinner and bath and bedtime while I have some wine and watch all of the Lifetime movies I have recorded.

Helping Out

I am sure that most people consider me a super-mom.  I take care of my kiddies, my hubster and my home.  I just barely have time to take a quick class or two at the gym and hang out with my gal pals between all of my obligations.

Something that is VERY important to me is volunteering at the children’s school.  Their education is so important to me, and helping out in the classroom is the least I can do to support their wonderful teachers.  I do most of my volunteering in Merlin’s class because I think they probably have a hard time finding parents who are intelligent enough to keep up with the genius class.

Today I was in charge of a special “Congress of the Minds” event in their class.  I volunteered to run it last September, but of course I had to allow the other women to do SOME of the work.  Margie Harris was my co-chair and I checked in with her pretty often.  I mean, WAY more often than that bitch Margie claims I did.  Anywhoo, women are so, so competitive, aren’t they?  And I truly believe that we should be supporting each other, embracing each other, loving each other.

So today I went in for the event and it was great.  I have to say that I am a wonderful chair, because it all ran so smoothly and there was a LOT going on.  My committee had all decided to wear pants and flats because they were running around like crazy.  I hadn’t gotten that email apparently, but it was just as well.  Someone needs to be able to stand still and supervise and correct the other ladies when they don’t fulfill my vision.  Also, I know that Ty appreciated having a chance to chat with me, even though he was pretty busy too.

There is nothing wrong with caring about your appearance.  Margie could take a lesson from me here!

There is nothing wrong with caring about your appearance. Margie could take a lesson from me here!

Merlin really loved his special day with Mommy, so I feel like I have done my job.

He didn't say much after school, but that is the way with boys.  I know he totally loved everything about having me at school today.

He didn’t say much after school, but that is the way with boys. I know he totally loved everything about having me at school today.