Tag Archives: Library

Library Time

This morning at Spin to Win one of the ladies said she has been taking her toddler to free events at the library.  I was so excited.  I have never gone to the library before and had no idea it was free.  This afternoon I took Hummus over to “Story Time with Miss Jill”.  Unfortunately when they say that children must be accompanied by a parent or caregiver they really mean it and were quite strict about that rule.  I couldn’t even sneak off to the loo without him.

Has anyone ever seen one of these library story times?  They are just dreadful.  The library is all bright colors and not a bit of subtlety in its decor.  The other parents were all pretty awful.  This woman who had dreadful curly hair and with two toddlers and a small ugly baby in one of those scarf thingies sat down right next to me and introduced herself.  What could I do?  I gave her a cold nod and ignored her, just as I would have in high school.  Her name was Maia, which is just a vulgar, vulgar name.  Ugh.  I get it, earth mom.  Was your mother upset when you insisted she stop calling you Carol?

Miss Jill is an unattractive older woman.  It is no wonder she is still a “Miss”,  with her bushy eyebrows and sturdy shoes.  Not only did she read us a story about a horrible mouse who lives inside some poor family’s house and keeps demanding cookies, but she took out a guitar and sang three long nasally songs.  The children all got up to dance and do these stupid hand movements and Maia next to me was doing them too, in the most shameless, show-offy manner.  Look at her everyone, she knows how to do toddler dances.  Then, just when I thought I could escape, they got out scarves and let the children wave them about like absolute hooligans.  I was handed one too, but I just put it neatly on the ground next to me.  I couldn’t even stand to touch the filthy thing.

It finally, blessedly, ended and as I was scooting toward the door I saw an absolute vision in expensive looking white skinny jeans, a cute print top and fabulous driving mocs.  We were both just hiccuping with relief to see another normal person among all of these poor people and hippies.  She had to dash to go pick up her son from sailing lessons, but we traded twitter handles and plan to meet up at another library event.  I feel like I can mention them to Röbby when he is nattering on about me spending too much money.  Free events make me appear very thrifty!

The poor little dope was just loving the lowbrow entertainment.

The poor little dope was just loving the lowbrow entertainment.