Tag Archives: Fat Alice

A Bit of a Dilemma

I think all moms want the same things for their children.  We want them to be pretty and popular.  I felt like I had achieved this with my older two.  People always tell me that Merlin is a very handsome little boy (even though I can’t see it) and he is certainly very popular with his peers and with adults, despite being extremely nerdy and odd.  Of course Starling is stunning looking, and while she has never  had a large number of admirers, she makes up for that in the quality of her friends.  Starling naturally just attracts the prettiest and most socially prominent of her peers.

Since Merlin came home from camp this summer there have been changes in my lil’ girl.  First of all, she began playing with her brother…all of the time.  I don’t want to say this is a bad thing.  It keeps them both out of my hair for a large part of the afternoons, but it certainly can’t help her reputation to be so friendly with one of the children from the genius class.

It is like my big smalls are friends or something. Weird.

It is like my big smalls are friends or something. Weird.

The part I am struggling with most however is Merlin’s friend Allie.  She has come over after school several times and she seems like a very sweet little girl.  It is hard to find a single speck of that horrible Fat Alice in this child.  Now Starling has started playing with her and this afternoon she asked to have her over even though Merlin was at soccer.  I offfered to go pick up Alcott or Amber or one of the other popular girls, but Starling said that she and Fat Alice, I mean Allie, were eating lunch together today and Fat Alice had an idea for a mystery club so they wanted to make a sign up sheet so everyone could join.  There is so much wrong with that idea.

When you look at Allie, there is nothing terribly wrong with her.  But won’t everyone always remember that she was once Fat Alice and wonder why Starling has an ugly unpopular friend?

This is why I am confused. She is no longer a fat mess.

This is why I am confused. She is no longer a fat mess.

I really don’t know what to do.

Merlin’s New Friend

Merlin has been talking all week about his new friend at school.  She is Starling’s age, but she just transferred into the genius class and Merlin couldn’t stop telling me about her.  I spotted him chatting with her after school and she was adorable looking.  I was highly suspect; why would a cute older girl want to be seen with my lil’ weirdo?

I was happy enough though, since I have been dying for him to stop spending so much time with those odd twins of Margie’s, so when he asked if she could come after school today, of course I said yes.  I will say, her mother seemed a bit hesitant on the phone, but I assumed she just didn’t know me yet.  I can be a very strategic friend!

Allie was absolutely delightful.  I offered them some juice and cookies after school and she very politely inquired if she could have water instead and pulled a portion controlled snack of raisins and carrots from her bag.  Wow.  I was impressed.  The two of them were outside playing some of Merlin’s crazy games with the Wozinski girls from next door for hours and they seemed to have a great time.

They had just come inside and were straightening the playroom when Starling came home and was furious.  “What is she doing here?” she asked.  I said that Allie was Merlin’s new friend and she informed me that Aliie is, in fact, Fat Alice, and she went to fat camp this summer.

What?  I couldn’t believe my ears.  Allie seemed so cute and nice, but obviously that can’t be true.  Starling ran upstairs crying.  She felt like I had ruined her life by having Fat Alice over. Poor Starling.

Here is Fat Alice last spring.

Here is Fat Alice last spring.

Would you even recognize her now?  She was wearing a trapeze style top which makes her look a little larger but her legs are very slender.  I would never have believed it was her if Starling hadn’t wept so hard.

I swear her mother even did her brows, which would be a miracle considering what her mom's brows look like.

I swear her mother even did her brows, which would be a miracle considering what her mom’s brows look like.

What should I do if Merlin wants to play with her again?

A Little Attention for Starling

I hate to say it, but I really felt like the school dropped the ball last year with our family.  All year long it was phone call after phone call about Merlin, “Oh hi, Lah Lee.  Merlin is winning another award on Thursday, can you possibly make it to the awards ceremony?  It would mean so much to him.”  Right.  He never even noticed that I wasn’t there, and my spin class would certainly have noticed if the pace leader was not in the front row!  All I ever heard about Starling were complaints that she was mean or complaints that she was picking on others.  I tried explaining to her teacher and the principal that Starling was actually the one being bullied.  The other kids, and even their parents, were all ganging up on her about being a bully, and it was so hard for her.

I was pleased earlier this week to get a phone call from Mrs. Swedburg, the principal, saying that she and Miss Cole, Starling’s teacher, would like to have a little sit down with me this morning to discuss the social aspects of Starling’s school year.  Finally!

I went in with a small list of things we needed from the school.  I feel strongly that Starling and Amber need to be in the same class, and that Starling needs more outlets for personal expression.  I was surprised that they actually had what they called a “plan of action”.  Apparently they have set up a special “social group” for Starling and she is going to meet with a special counselor twice a week to talk about her feelings.  While I am not pleased with all of the members of the “social group” (Fat Alice?  Really?)  I understand that they feel the need to be inclusive, and I think it will be fun for Starling to have the special attention of the counselor.

Miss Cole is also starting a theater group at the school, which will meet during lunches a couple of times a week, and she already had Starling on her list of participants.  How nice that they started a special club for my special girl.  I am sure all of the other attractive children will enjoy the opportunity to be on stage too!

When Starling got home this afternoon I told her all of the good news.  She said she hates Miss Cole and does not want to have any part of her dumb theater, but when I explained how it could eventually lead to Hollywood stardom, she was more excited.

Mommy!  I am home!

Mommy! I am home!

I just have a feeling it is going to be a great year for my special lil’ angle!


Gettin’ My Shop On

I have to admit that this week has been a bit of a disappointment with Starling.  All she wants to do is go to the pool with Amber, and when they get there they just sit at a table near the snack bar and talk about all the girls they don’t like.  How much is there even to say about Fat Alice in a bathing suit?  Hideous…done.  But apparently that topic is way more meaningful than quality time shopping with mean ol’ Mom.

This morning I had planned to take her to the city.  Röbert’s mother had agreed to take Hummus for the day tomorrow, so he wouldn’t get bored driving up to pick up Merlin (that was the fastest week ever!) and so I dropped him off a bit early this morning with her housekeeper while she was at the hairdresser.  I am sure she will be delighted with her little surprise!

When I got home, Starling was dressed but not cooperating at all.

Sullen little thing.

Sullen little thing.

I’ll admit that I lost my temper and raised my voice the tiniest bit with her.  She said she didn’t want to go.  Oh well, more credit cards for me!  I let her get in her swimsuit and dropped her off with Cari again.  Girls!

I had a wonderful morning shopping till I felt like dropping and now I am going to stop into a nice cocktail bar and have something refreshing before my spa treatments this afternoon. Both things I couldn’t have done with Starling in tow!  I want to be all sleek for the weekend.

I am not completely heartless.  I have some lovely frocks for Starling in the bags!

I am not completely heartless. I have some lovely frocks for Starling in the bags!

After we pick Merlin up tomorrow, Röbert has arrange for a house on a lake for the night.  It had better be nice, because I am missing a fourth of July black tie dinner with my book club.  I am so excited; a lil’ luxury lake excursion!

School News

Merlin came home from school with some great news today.  Mr. Williams is going to be his teacher again next year.  Apparently my pal Ty enjoys being with all of the weirdos in the Gifted Class.  Merlin adores him, so that is great news for us.  I don’t think that having such a good friend among the nerds’ parents made Ty’s decision harder either!

Amber came home with Starling to work on a Science Fair project.  They have taken photos of all of their classmates faces and are posting them on an app where other people can rate them for attractiveness.  Then they are going to personally rank them for popularity and make a chart comparing the numbers.  It should be interesting.

I wonder how Fat Alice is going to do?

I wonder how Fat Alice is going to do?

They posted the pictures and then went out back to play.  They are just such happy, fun lovin’ lil’ gals!  I am sure their photos would be very popular but they said they can’t use their own pictures because of scientific principles.  Oh well!

They are both tens on my app!

They are both tens on my app!

A Lil’ Inspiration

I hope all of my readers with chubby lil’ girls will show them the latest photos of Starling.  She should be an inspiration to all girls!

Last Wednesday was the first day of swim lessons, and guess who is in Starling’s class?  Fat Alice.  LOL!  I thought Starling did a great job suppressing her laughter.  And when the swim instructor was reprimanding her for talking about blue whales I almost went right down to give him a piece of my mind.  Starling loves sharing her knowledge about whales and it isn’t her fault that Fat Alice was wearing a blue swimsuit.

I must say Fat Alice’s mother is a very unfriendly sort.  If you didn’t understand social cachet, then you would almost think she was trying to snub me, LOL!  Luckily a couple of the gals from Barre-Intensive were there and we had a lovely time ignoring her.

On the way home Starling was reflecting on what an unattractive little girl Fat Alice is and I reminded her that Fat Alice is also ugly on the inside, which is why she is so ugly on the outside. This really seemed to resonate with Starling and since then she has doubled down on her dieting, often skipping meals and making healthy choices like diet coke instead of sugary fruit juice.

Today she put on a dress I had forbidden her to wear because it made her look positively huge and she looked very nice and skinny in it. Even the horizontal striped leggings, which are no one’s friend made her legs look slender.

Way to go, Starling!

No more pear-shaped figure in her pear dress.

No more pear-shaped figure in her pear dress.