Tag Archives: Christmas

Last Christmas…

I know that most people see me as perfect, a lovely vision of generosity and kindness.  It is mostly true, but I do have have pain and difficulty I must face.  I just face my problems with grace and stoicism.

This December I have been playing a certain song over and over again.

It just speaks to me because, despite appearances to the contrary, Christmas 2015 chez Smith was a bit of a shitshow.  There were hurt feelings and, oh well, it speaks to me.

The other thing most of you already know about me is that I feel things more strongly than most people.  So when I heard yesterday that George Michael had died, I was devestated.  Some people felt bad, but I assure you, I felt worse, partly because of that song and partly because I had always dreamed that someday I would marry George Michael.  Do you think he dreamed the same thing about Lah Lee?

1214-cry-eyes

Always smilin’ through my tears!

I have been inconsolable all day, and I just need to pick myself up and move forward because I have to find a dress and purse for New Years Eve.

But George, wherever you are, I would always have waked you up before I Go-Goed.

Laying Low

Christmas was a lil’ crazy Chez Smith.

Merlin was up at the crack of nine asking about gift opening, and “special breakfast”.  What the hell?  Who told him I would be cooking on Christmas morning? And he specifically asked for no gifts.

I told him to go entertain himself in his room for another hour or two, Mommy was up late looking up old “friends” on Insta.

We were up well before noon and the children were all hyper and overexcited.  It took Starling forever to open all of her presents and she was furious because her hoverboard was periwinkle and not turquoise.  Hummus loved his lil’ Saab and was crashing into everyone with it, but Röb said it was too dangerous for him to take it into the driveway alone.  I certainly wasn’t going outside with him!  Freaking Merlin named his doll Percy.  What is wrong with that kid?  It’s like he’s begging to be bullied.

I kept looking for a small necklacey box, but I didn’t see one.  Finally Röbert handed me a medium box, which could be good or bad.  It was not good.  He had bought me a sweater set.  I am sure it was expensive, it was cashmere.  It looked like something his mother would wear.  The worst part was the color; it was kind of a peachy beige.  I would look naked from any distance at all.  No.

Röbert was also acting ridiculous.  He kept crying over every damned thing the children said.  They say stupid things every day, Röb, pay attention.  All the boo-hooing makes you look soft.

I just had a bad feeling about everything.  My besty had deserted me, my husband had given me a hideous gift and was acting like it was his last day on earth, my children were behaving like jerky little assholes.  I really needed to make a move.

I went upstairs to “take a nap” and packed a suitcase and snuck out the back door.  I thoughtfully took Röbby’s BMW, because he will need the Honda Odyssey to haul the kids around, and I headed for the mountains.  I called Stefan on the way.  He is skiing with his family until January 3rd or 4th, but he gave me the security codes to his lake house, so here I am, relaxing with a glass of mulled wine.

The view is lovely and it is so quiet.

The view is lovely and it is so quiet.

There is no Christmas tree here, but my phone has been lighting up like one since yesterday.  First Röbert has been calling and texting and now Cari all of a sudden is interested in talking to me.  Nope.  Handle your own damned selves, folks.  Lah Lee is finally looking out for Lah Lee.

One weird thing; I went out back to take some photos of the views and I swear I could smell the marijuana again.  Could it be a symptom of a rare brain disease or something?

 

Christmas Eve

I am ridiculously excited about tomorrow.  I am sure that Röbert has a great gift for me this year.  The kayak lessons last Christmas were an aberration.

I pointed this out to Röbby a few weeks ago. I am sure this is why Cari has been so standoffish. CUTE!!!!!

I pointed this out to Röbby a few weeks ago. I am sure this is why Cari has been so standoffish. CUTE!!!!!

Meanwhile, the kiddos have been driving me berserk.  Merlin insists on singing annoying Christmas songs and Hummus just grunts and whines for attention.  Even Starling has been the teensiest bit irritating, with her constant reminders about gifts she wants.  Starling!  You are getting everything you asked for!  Relax already!

I am making Benadril shakes so that I get a few hours to catch up on Hallmark Channel movies this afternoon.

Are you excited for Christmas too?

Holiday Gift Guide

I have been wanting to share all the wonderful things I have bought for my family this Christmas, but I didn’t want to share it in time for that idiot Margie to just copy it, like she copies everything I do.  I decided to wait until now, when everything good has sold out, so that everyone can be envious of the thoughtfully curated choices I have made for my lucky, lucky family.

In the past I have bought all of my gifts for Röbert and the boys on Black Friday, based on what was on sale at Best Buys and Toys R Us.  This year I realized what a terribly middle class thing Black Friday is when I read a few articles, and I decided to be more mindful in my purchases for the boys.  It is very in trend to be mindful of one’s purchases.

I do want to remind everyone that Merlin wrote a letter to Santa in which he asked for nothing except for Santa to make Ty happy.  No can do.  I tried to contact Ty and was stopped by his nutty family.  Maybe Santa can send him a new girlfriend, a nice American one this time, but otherwise, the guy has to CHOOSE to be happy.

For Röb I was very mindful of everything except budget.  But what is money anyway?  It is a borgeouis concept.  I know he loves to be active so I bought him some human underwater jetpacks.

Cool, right?

Cool, right?  I am sure he will love them as long as he never sees the Visa bill.

Hummus’s school sent out an approved gift list and reminded us that Christmas is the celebration of a very holy event, blah, blah, blah.  The Fourth of July is a celebration of a boring political meeting in Philadelphia, but that doesn’t make it wrong to eat that cake with the Cool Whip and blueberries on it, right?  So I got the requisite Noah’s Ark for Hummus to make Miss Sherrilyn happy.

At least it looks nice. Maybe I can display it somewhere because I can't imagine him sitting still long enough to play with this thing.

At least it looks nice. Maybe I can display it somewhere because I can’t imagine him sitting still long enough to play with this thing.

I also got him a very classy looking ride-upon Saab, one of my favorite car brands, because it looks expensive.

Very stylish. This one also can be displayed.

Very stylish. This one also can be displayed.  It actually is kind of costy but not like jetpack costy.

Hummus likes cars, but I hate those tacky cheap Hot Wheels.  This year he is getting  Scandanavian design cars.

Fun! They can be whatever he imagines!

Fun! They can be whatever he imagines!

Like I said, Merlin wants Ty to be happy and THAT IS ALL.  I am a generous mother though, so I bought him a toy.  It is a doll that he can use to play with Starling and her dolls.  Maybe he can pretend to be an admirer and all of Starlings dolls can reject his doll and then laugh at his doll behind his doll’s back.

Poor doll is not going to get far in life with that stupid outfit, but you have to buy what you can find when you shop at the very last minute.

Poor doll is not going to get far in life with that stupid outfit, but you have to buy what you can find when you shop at the very last minute.

Starling always asks for the same thing, a Samantha doll from American Girl, because Samantha is the classiest.

This year I bought her three dolls and lots of clothing.

This year I bought her three Samantha dolls and lots of clothing.

Samantha also always needs new accessories so I bought a couple of things.

We have almost every accessory, but the snack cart is cute and she can have some of the old Samantha dolls who hair isn't as pretty "work" there.

We have almost every accessory, but the snack cart is cute and she can have some of the old Samantha dolls with hair that isn’t as pretty “work” there.

All of the Samanthas need their own beds. They look so cute lined up next to each other.

All of the Samanthas need their own beds. They look so cute lined up next to each other.

I also bought her the “doll of the year”, Grace, because she is exclusive and collectible.  Also she is French which will hopefully inspire Starling in her goals of being a model and being skinny.

I couldn't resist the whole play set too. Ooh lala! It is tres bien.

I couldn’t resist the whole play set too. Ooh lala! It is tres bien.

She also wanted a karaoke machine so she can have karaoke parties.

I had to buy some of the One Direction music on Ebay because I couldn't find it on Amazon until it was all sold out (I thought they were called No Direction). I hope they really are unopened and from a smoke-free household.

I had to buy some of the One Direction music on Ebay because I couldn’t find it on Amazon until it was all sold out (I thought they were called No Direction). I hope they really are unopened and from a smoke-free household.

I also bought her a little electric car to tool around the neighbohood in.  This one is equipped with a sound system.  I hope the neighbors like Taylor Swift.

Adorable!

Adorable!

I filled in with some lil’ stocking stuffers like an Apple Watch and Iphone six and a drone and one of those Hoverboard thingys.

It should be a wonderful Christmas, especially if Röbert got me this:

This would look so cute on me!

This would look so cute on me!

and not this:

No. Not even funny.

No. Not even funny.

I am a very thoughtful person.

 

 

Nice Try, Karen

Karen slipped another lil’ photo under my door this morning.  She obviously thinks that she can get under my skin by insinuating that my Mr. Perfect is fooling around on the side, because this is a more recent photo.  She of all people must know that Röbert would never do that!  She was infatuated with him for years, but obviously she is so old and fat and Röbert is fathful to his goddess, Lah Lee.

Cari looks like she might have had a lil' too much to drink at lunch!  Röb is practically carrying her. LOL.

Cari looks like she might have had a lil’ too much to drink at lunch! Röb is practically carrying her. LOL.

I know exactly what is going on in that picture!  Clearly Röbert is planning a special surprise for me (for Christmas maybe?) and he asked my bestie to come into the city to help him shop.  I just love Christmas!  I can not wait to see what these two have cooked up for me!

Samanthas Everywhere

Don’t you just love American Girl dolls?  They are so expensive and you can buy so many accessories for them.  I love watching Starling playing with hers.  Of course her favorite is Samantha.  Samantha is one of the girls with books written about her.  Her story is that she is very wealthy.  Many of the other American Girls have tragic hardships in their lives.  Who wants to read about someone else’s problems?  Not Starling.  My mother gave her another doll, one with short hair for crying out loud, last Christmas and poor Starling cried and cried.  So now everyone knows that all she wants is the lil’ rich doll and so she has ten or twelve of them.

I went into the the playroom this morning and it was Samanthas everywhere. LOL.

We have a huge bin filled with darling lil' outfits for her Samanthas.

We have a huge bin filled with darling lil’ outfits for her Samanthas.

Merlin, on the other hand, hasn’t even looked at his toy since Christmas Day.  I don’t know why he thinks I will buy him that expensive chemistry set when he won’t even play with the hand painted building blocks he did get.

Boys!

Celebration Time!

Happy almost New Year!  I am so excited about our plans for tonight.  The Sullivan’s have invited us all for a party at their house and the children will come and sleep over in their sons’ bedrooms.   I was of course worried about them staying in the same home as that vicious dog, Beefeater, but Karen has promised to have him crated the entire time.

This morning I had my book group over to talk about that book that we are reading (I forget what it is called, LOL.  I didn’t even bother to purchase it this time).  We started out with a lil’ toast with some sparkly and then we ended up not talking about any books at all.  One of my friends had seen Missy getting her makeup done for tonight at Sephora and took some sneaky photos.  Hilarious!  I would post one here, but I am not that kind of person.  Take my word for it though, smokey eyes are NOT the look with a nose like hers!

Cheers!  Karen and I may have had three or four glasses!

Cheers! Karen and I may have had three or four glasses!

This afternoon there was a lil’ get together for the faculty at the kids’ school.  I happened to have heard about it and assumed that parents would be invited.  Oops, they weren’t.   Of course everyone was extremely happy to see me.  I am very popular with everyone I meet, and I just know that I am a great favorite with all of the teachers.  Guess who was there?  Ty!

He cleans up nicely!

He cleans up nicely!

We had a long talk about Merlin and teaching; very interesting.  I have a feeling that if someone showed him a necklace they really, really wanted then he would find a way to afford it.