Question number one: Is costume jewelry in any way the same thing as jewelry?
Question B: Does Kate Spade have a line at Kohl’s all of a sudden because I think some of her stuff looks hideous?
Final question: Do husbands even listen anymore?
I am about to be taken out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant, not that cute French place in town. Very romantic. I can’t even bear to ask which Mexican place because I think I may be back later to tell you what the new dollar menu at Taco Bell is like.
Of course, I would never let Röbert know how disappointed I am. I am always very stoic, even when faced with major life events such as getting costume jewelry and being taken out to a Mexican place for a date.
All ready for my big night out. I think I must have been near Beefeater today and had a lil’ allergic reaction because my eyes are a tiny bit puffy.
I ended up eating all of the Valentine’s Candy that Röbert bought for Merlin today. I don’t think he likes sweets anyway, so it really doesn’t matter.
Whatever God damned restaurant I am being taken to tonight better have a frozen margarita machine, that is all I am saying.
I ran over to see Karen today because she (once again) was not taking my phone calls. I took over a fresh baked batch of brownies (I get them from the bakery then put them in my own pan to make them look like I made them…it saves all sorts of time) and a bottle of wine. I know Karen’s weak spots, LOL. Anywhoo, we had a nice lil’ get together and I was getting ready to leave when I spotted the most horrifying thing. Beefeater was out of his cage, I mean crate, and was playing with my lil’ bebeh, Hummus!
Have you ever seen a scarier photo?
I know that Beefeater is supposedly “cured” now, but excuse me, I am not “cured” of my fear. Anyone who has ever experienced and unprovoked attack like I did would also not be cured!
I still have nightmares about this day. Beefeater is a vicious, cruel beast!
I snatched up poor lil’ Hummus and scolded Karen about her disregard for MY comfort and MY needs. She apologized of course, but I am not sure that is enough this time.
I just happened to be out in my front yard this morning around 5:30 AM admiring the sunrise, when who should I see jogging up the street but Karen and Beefeater. It was an unpleasant shock because she had told me that the dog would now always wear a muzzle outdoors and around my family and he was NOT wearing a muzzle for his lil’ early morning run!
Nope, no muzzle.
Of course Karen was surprised to see me, I guess she didn’t expect to get caught. She said that Beefeater hated the muzzle so she didn’t think it would hurt to have him outside without it before anyone else was even awake. I pointed out that it was not MY responsibility to live my life around Beefeater’s schedule and of course she agreed.
After school I looked outside and you won’t even believe what I saw! Beefeater was out of their house with no muzzle, playing with Merlin. He seemed ready to attack and I could hear him growling from inside my house!
I was so terrified when I saw Beefeater ready to attack Merlin!
I called Karen right away and we were both crying when she came to get this dangerous, dangerous animal. She said that her house had been all locked up and she had no idea how he had gotten outside. Maybe he is a magician now. Who knows? I was pretty sure she would now see reason and have that horrible animal put down. It is sad, sure, but what else can you do when you have a terrifying wild animal? You wouldn’t keep a pet grizzly bear, would you? I feel exactly the same way about a vicious Golden Retriever next door to my children.
Karen just called a few minutes ago and she apparently has found an animal rehabilitation clinic in Vermont where she is sending Beefeater for a few weeks to work on his recent aggressive behavior. She asked if I still had the key to her back door which she gave me a million years ago (of course I don’t! I am sure I returned it to her last year). Good luck to her, I guess.
I know a lot of people have been really worried about the Sullivan’s dog, Beefeater. We sure were! I felt so helpless because Karen and I have been goin’ thru a lil’ ruff patch. Anywhoo, I went out for my power walk, as per usual, yesterday and guess who I ran into? A certain special dog! I brought him right over to Karen’s house and she was absolutely delighted. We hugged and cried and made up. She mentioned that Beefeater didn’t seem to be in any distress at all. It looked as though someone had taken VERY good care of him. I agree.
Besties once again.
She mentioned that she and Mitch are having a little get together next weekend and invited Röbert and I to join them. I am certainly looking forward to that.
Before all of the excitement with Beefeater yesterday morning I was a little upset. There was a blogger do I wanted to go to in Atlanta this weekend and when I mentioned it to Röbert on Thursday, he claimed we couldn’t afford it. Well, later that day I went to buy something at the luggage store and I found $100 in my purse, but no credit cards. This is highly unusual because I never carry cash and have lots of credit cards. I guess we must have plenty of money because banks and stores are always offering me more cards. I am sure they don’t do that for poor people! I had been looking for my cards everywhere and I finally found them when I went to get some breakfast bars for the kids from the freezer yesterday morning. The cards were frozen in a solid block of ice! I was furious!
Then I walked into the kitchen and the corner of our kitchen table leg was all chewed up. That was when I decided to go on the walk to find Beefeater.
Moments before I found the chewed up leg.
Now Robert says we can’t afford a new table either. I can’t live like this! It is one step from being homeless. We will see what we can afford this week!
Well, the littles go back to school tomorrow. Not Hummus, of course, but I am going to wait until Röbert goes away and then enroll him at this wonderful playgroup and pretend that we discussed it and agreed to send him. SHHHHH!
I am so glad that summer is over. I swear I didn’t think I would last this past week! Merlin seems bored and was so whiny. “I wish I had my legos back,” or “These puzzles are for babies,” all-freaking-day. Well boo-hoo kiddo, I think that there are children working in sweatshops to make your new clothes who would love a nice puzzle or two. Honestly, he can be a real handful, always running everywhere.
He never slows down!
Starling on the other hand has been so appreciative of the new dolls I bought her to replace the one I gave to her ungrateful brother. I have been fighting with the school about her placement for next year too. Clearly she belongs in the gifted and talented program especially considering she got a B in math (and remember, she is a girl!) but they wouldn’t even test her. Ridiculous. I am planning on spending some time at the school making sure she does get tested this fall!
I am going to miss her so much tomorrow! Mama’s lil’ angle!
My trip home was horrible! I was so remorseful about going away without really considering how much it would hurt poor Röbert and the kids. Apparently my parents really DID have weekend plans so they delivered the kids back to Röbert and he got stuck with them and had to take time off from his work. It was also way more expensive than I expected and, as I confessed before, I got caught up in the party atmosphere and didn’t learn thing one. I also lost my favorite bra one night and i am scared how that might have happened. Please, I hope there are no photos of that evening on the internet. I sat on the plane and wept.
I had a short layover halfway home and so I made myself comfortable in the airport with a couple of glasses of wine and a good book and tried to think of ways to explain how sorry I am to Röbert. Well, I was into my third glass of wine and I realized that it had been far too long, so I went and found the gate agent. Apparently “weather” was preventing flights from leaving so I was stuck for as long as they wanted to keep me there. I was livid! I let that woman AND her supervisor know that I was on my way home from an important business conference and I am not used to being treated so shabbily. I could tell the other passengers were all pretty impressed with how I handled myself. You would think an airline would know better than to treat influential bloggers like they are nobodies.
I finally got home very late and drove home. My family was all asleep and so I snuck into bed and then pretended to be asleep when Röbert was getting ready for work this morning. I guess I have to face him eventually. Anywho, I do feel like I have a sassy new attitude so I put on my ol’ cutoffs and went for walk while the children slept this afternoon (Benadryl again…LOL!)
As some of you bunnies may recall, I have been having a little friction with my neighbor and friend, Karen Sullivan. She and her husband Mitch had been acting kind of strangely towards us lately, and it really hurts! They are an older couple, early to mid-forties, and I have been worried that they might be going senile and of course I wanted to help! But it seemed like my timing was always off. She was never home when I stopped by (even once at 5 AM and a couple of times just after midnight!) and her phone was always off when I tried to call. So strange!
Here we are during happier times!
Well, Karen stopped by yesterday and she was very brusque with me, you might even say rude! She breezed right in and brought an old race track that her boys had outgrown for Merlin. He seemed thrilled but I could see that it was old and I don’t like old or used things in my house. Karen should know that!!!
Then she started to cry. I was so scared that she was going to tell me that she was sick or something! That would be so inconvenient for me right now. I am busy enough without a sick friend to worry about! But she said that right now she needs some space (whatever!) and that I need to back off and stop harassing her. Harassing?! What the heck? She then told Merlin that he could stop by anytime and I yelled, “What about Starling?” and she ignored me. Rude.
As soon as she left I took the race track away and let him play with his old garage instead. See? Perfectly happy!
I can’t believe that Karen is acting like this so I called a few friends and everyone agrees with me that she is being very shady.
So there you go, just another little bump in that ol’ road called life.