I woke up with a start this morning. I have been working so hard to make sure that people with Go Fund Me crybaby pleas are getting what they want this year that I haven’t bought a single thing for my own lil’ babbies. I certainly hope that Röbby has been shopping for me!!!!
My children had the usual selfish christmas lists. “Dear Santa, I want clarinet lessons, a few Criterion Collection DVDs, and a book about Ancient Rome?” “Dear Santa, This year can you bring me some Atlanta Hip Hop music ?” “Mglmpfhg mmmphitteseesd”
This year I got them the stuff that I knew they really wanted, which was coincidentally exactly what was left at ToysRus this afternoon at 4PM.
What lil’ guy doesn’t want a machine gun?
Well, Merlin keeps saying he is against weapons and violence, but this is not an actual machine gun. He will love it!
Starling is such a great lil’ mommy someday, even though she is going through a bit of a phase right now. I found some babbies that she will LOVE!
Who knows what Hummus wants. He is darling and so, so smart, but doesn’t express himself well yet.
Merlin says this is too babyish but it was near the door at ToysRUs.
I think I have done a fantastic job shopping for my littles. I just hope that they have chosen thoughtful gifts for me!
Merlin and Starling both had last week off and Röbby was away at a conference. So infuriating! They were able to watch a lot of tv (they watched some show called Happy Valley…it sounds very sweet!) and tried to keep out of my way, but these vacations while I am a struggling single parent are so difficult. I just keep on smiling through the struggle and am very brave.
They both refused to go help out at Hummus’s school. They said the men there are “touchy” or something. I found a lovely lil’ vacation school at the local Episcopal church. The priest there drives a BMW and his wife drives a Saab, so I know that is my kind of God. Unfortunately, the children have to be enrolled in their regular Sunday School to enroll. I think that is wrong, but the church secretary hung up on me three times.
Those fancy church choir outfits are adorable!
Maybe I can drop the kids off on a few Sundays so they can enroll in the summer mission trips.
I have not heard a single word from Heidi Klum since I sent her my letter of inquiry, and that is just plain rude. I spent quite a bit of time on the phone trying to speak to her this morning and the receptionist at the Lifetime Network told me she doesn’t work there and the student who answered the phone at Parsons Decorating College also said she wasn’t there. He actually laughed at me. Well, she has to be somewhere!
I will send a scathing letter to Nina Garcia about my rude treatment by Mrs. Klum as soon as I have a chance. In the meantime, I have an absolutely genius idea which will provide me with all of the money I need in no time.
I would obviously be a wonderful stylist in Hollywood, except I don’t live there, and can’t move there right now due a to a bunch of boring reasons. I have decided to use this gift of mine to style women in my hometown! I can help them get cute exercise clothes and great outfits for lunches, book club, coffee with friends, PTO, and parties.
Right now I just have business cards made up, but I plan on making some flyers (and absolutely stuffing Margie’s mailbox with them…she and her friends need help).
I love how cute this is!
There is even information on the back, which makes it look very high class.
I am preparing to be extremely busy!
I have some pretty aggressive pricing figured out for my services, since I don’t want to be dragging poor people around Walmart explaining why they can’t afford to look good. They can figure that out on their own.
I can’t wait to be able to turn away clients.
Today I just went to the gym a few of times and hung with my gal pals, so I wanted to bring the sassy back.
Fun Lah Lee is fun.
Prada boots, Hue tights, Soffe black shorts, rolled twice at the waist, clutch from that guy who always shows up near the train station, sweater by Target with a pelt from one of Hummus’s stuffed animals (Foxy Fox) quickly stitched on as a collar. Stunning!
I wanted to send an Edible Arrangement to Karen to begin to heal our friendship, but I am having a tiny cash flow situation as a result of the beautiful Frozen castle in our yard and I haven’t been able to find any of Röbert’s hidden credit cards. Being industrious, I found a lovely fruit tray online and asked Merlin to recreate it for me.
Simple enough, and he can get back to his all-important homework when he is done.
Imagine my surprise when I saw him upstairs on the computer not two hours later and he told me he was done.
Does this look done to anyone? And kale? Really, Merlin?
He is back downstairs finishing it now, but I don’t think I will have the opportunity to drop it off until tomorrow.
I was driving home from a light workout at the gym today and I saw my old pal, Karen the snake in the park with her new buddy, Renata. Can you imagine being so desperate for a friend that you would want to spend time with either of them? Besides being sneaky and dishonest they are two of the most tedious individuals known to man.
Renata appears to be doing a top rate job helping Karen lose weight, LOL!
I think I might try to befriend Karen again. I am sure she must miss me and it would be a hoot to hear all about Renata’s wedding plans. Maybe I could even get myself invited to the happy event and bring Ty as my plus one! LOL! LOL!
I had this great idea after watching Merlin yank Hummus around in the snow today. Hummus was all bundled up in his lil’ drag behind sled and Merlin was pulling him all over the place and then tried to get Beefy to pull him around too.
They couldn’t stop laughing!
Maybe I could get Beefeater to pull my wheelchair around for me and be a service dog. That would be so adorable and I would be the toast of the town and could probably end up famous for my amazing invention! But when I looked up how to get a dog designated as a service dog it seems like a lot of work. I think I will just buy a service dog patch on Etsy and get to work on a cute lil’ harness set-up. I think jingle bells would be sweet and attract the kind of notice I am looking for.