Why did I ever let Merlin sign up for soccer? Sure, he loves it, but it is just so inconvenient for me.
Not only does he now play on the travel team, but he is on a regional all-star team that plays even more games. Now I just found out that he has also been chosen for a state all-star team. They only play one game, thank the lord, but I don’t think I can make it to that one too.
Honestly? I wouldn’t be all that upset if he had a minor, career ending injury. How does one go about tearing and ACL? What is an ACL?
Does anyone actually enjoy all of the endless assemblies, recitals and athletic events that their kids participate in? Merlin has never seen a club or team he doesn’t want to join, so my burden is particularly onerous. And it isn’t like there is just one debate or soccer game to celebrate the season; they happen week after week.
But here is the thing: there are moms who attend all of it, every single game and performance. I have even seen moms sitting and watching practice as if the haven’t a care in the world. Are you kidding me? Who has time for that?
The other day Kathleen Moriarty, the mother of that freckled little troll, Kevin, asked me why I hadn’t been to a single soccer game this year. Because I didn’t know that soccer games had begun yet, maybe? How am I supposed to keep track of everything? I guess Kathleen Moriarty is probably too busy not minding her own business to be a part of our book club again this year. Sorry, Kathleen. All full up.
Since I am really a terrific mom, and because Cleia had a my grain, so Hot Yoga was cancelled at the last minute, Hummus and I were on the sidelines cheering our footy guy on this afternoon. I am not sure if we won or lost, but that really doesn’t matter, does it?
Oh, hi Kathleen. Are those white sneakers you’re wearing new?
I may have mentioned in the past that I have always been quite an extraordinary athlete. This is not to brag, it is just the truth.
I used to do dance and of course I was always cheering for the football team during their sports games.
I was also a talented baton twirler, and one of the drum majorettes in our marching band. Unlke many schools, our marching band was considered to be very cool by the rest of the student body, and I was extrememly popular.
This action shot appeared in the local paper and I was quite the star at school the next day. I just happened to come across it in a box in the attic at my parents’ house, and thought that some of my readers would enjoy seeing me in action.
Unlike many women I know, I have kept up with my athletics and now am the best in many of my classes at the gym. It is no wonder my boys are also such great athletes.
Röbert is so excited that Merlin made the travel team in our local soccer league. Of course he did! He takes after me athletically.
There is only one travel team for his age group, and our local league is one of the best in the state, so I am expecting big things from these little guys. Their coach is (of course) the ever-present Cliff Harris. What the hell does that man do for a living that he is available for every single play, sports team and recital? I know that Röbby would be a much better coach, but he hardly has the time!
The assistant coach this year is none other than Mr. Williams (Ty). He played soccer in college, but he explained to me that he won’t be able to make all of the games and practices, because he dedicates so much time to his work. The kids are all thrilled to see him there and he has some really fun drills for them.
I am putting Merlin on a special diet and training regimen so he can be the best on the team. I will be relieved to not have to listen to Margie brag about her lil’ monsters all of the time.
Yesterday I was stuck in the car all day driving Merlin up to his soccer camp. Don’t camps have busses that conveniently pick campers up anymore? Has anyone even seen Meatballs?
Normally, Röbert would do the driving, but he had a long-planned hiking excursion up to the mountains and apparently Uber is too expensive for long distance travel. I did find a Greyhound bus that would take him close to the camp, but Röbert thought he might get lost walking the last five miles, especially since he had never been there before. He might have a point, but I didn’t want to waste a whole day!
I did anticipate Merlin’s incessant chatter and downloaded a Harry Potter audio book for him on an old iPod. A couple of earbuds later I could chit chat and text with my gal pals on the phone without disturbance.
When we got there, they had all the boys put on their new uniforms and go out and play. At first, I didn’t want to stay, but there was another mom there with amazing shoes who I wanted to get to know so I hung out with her a bit. She kept commenting on one fantastic player and when I looked up it was Merlin!
I am shocked by how he doesn’t look completely nerdy when he is in a uniform.
On the way home I tried to listen to a podcast about soccer but nope, too boring. I listened to a new book I had heard about called Grey instead. I generally only read literary classics and important non-fiction, but this book is so well written and thought provoking.
Anywho, this week is all about me and Starling and finding a place to drop off Hummus for the day. I am so looking forward to it!
I think I was just snubbed by Margie Harris, of all people.
I took Hummus over to his first Lil’ Lobsters class at the community courts, and Margie was there with a group of ladies I didn’t recognize. Margie’s twins have been playing tennis for a few months, and it seems that she knows all of the other moms already. I got Hummus signed in and decided to join them at the cute lil’ umbrella tables on the patio. Margie must still have hard feelings about the school gala, because she completely ignored me, and I could see her whispering with the ladies.Honestly, just get over it, Margie!
She must also be rude to her hairdresser, because no one who liked her would make her hair look like that.
When I sat down the ladies were a bit quiet, but I knew that I would quickly win them over with my vivacious personality. Poor Margie and her uncoordinated boys didn’t stand a chance. People just love me, and frankly, Margie is a bit dull.
Everyone, of course, couldn’t believe it when they saw my lil’ toddler burning up the courts. And when I mentioned that his older brother was heading to an elite soccer camp and genius camp this summer, Margie and her sort of smart twins seemed a little less interesting all of a sudden. By the end of the 45 minute class two of the women were hanging on my every word, and Elana had leaned over to let me know that she had seen Margie’s husband out driving with the waitress from the Club Car Saloon. Who hasn’t? I would never gossip of course, because I am such a nice person.
This morning I was approached by one of the assistants at The Stanislaus Wrobinski Tennis Academy about an opening in their residential program for Hummus this fall. Normally they don’t take children as young as he is, but when I promised to potty train him before he started there, of course they wanted him!
He is so focussed when he plays!
When I got home, Röbert was holding some mail,and looking very stern. It seems that I may have forgotten to tell him about how much time Hummus has been spending at The Academy, and it cost a lot more than either of us imagined. A LOT more. Oh well, that is what credit cards are for!
Anywho, Röbert made me go back and pick him up and withdraw him from all of his classes. Later, I could tell Röbert felt bad about denying our baby this amazing opportunity, because he had signed him up for Lil’ Lobsters at the community courts. I will try, but I am not sure I can stand to take him to such a low rent facility after the progress he has made with his clay court game this spring.
This is what Röbert thinks is acceptable?
I guess it is back to the gym child care for Hummus this summer. That is okay, but it kind of ruins a lot of my plans for me and my friends. Being a Mom is all about sacrifice, but it would be nice to have a little more support.