Category Archives: School Time

My Academic Superstar

Hummus has just loved going to his school this year.  Sure, he screams like a banshee and clings to me when I drop him off every day and he seems to be hiding under a play structure from his teachers when I come to pick him up, but all children do that.  And, as Miss Sherrilynn says, children need a bit of switchin’ from time to time to beat the devil out of them.

There isn’t much time for play at his school as they all have chores to do, such as fetching well water for the compound, minding the babies, caring for the goats, etc.  I had no idea goats were so feisty.  Hummus comes home with goat bites all over his body several times a week.  But he just loves it there.

The boys all spend a lot of time with their academics while the little girls spend their time “keeping house”.  The tradition in this church is that the children only have a few years of schooling before the girls leave to get married and the boys start raising money for the church through “Godly work” whatever that means.  Hummus is doing really well.  He doesn’t speak yet, but you can see how hard he tries on his little worksheets.

He traced each number and colored in the mommy faces. Adorable!

He traced each number and colored in the mommy faces. Adorable!

A Special Program for My Special Guy

Well, I finally found a program that is just perfect for Hummus and he will now be “going to school” just like his big brother and sister.  The school is called “All Praise Our Blessed Little Lambs Preschool” and it is located in a church with some kind of weird and possibly immoral beliefs, but they were so eager to have me join their congregation that they were willing to overlook the fact that Hummus is a little tiny bit young and maybe not fully potty trained. “A few hours in a pair of uncomfortably wet and full underpants ought to train him right up,” is what Miss Sherrilynn, his new teacher said.  I like the way she thinks!

His first morning was this morning.

Momma's big guy! So proud.

Momma’s big guy! So proud.

I took the opportunity to sign him up for extended day today, so I won’t have to get him until 5 PM.  I had work to do!  I moved Merlin out of his bedroom, into what we used to use as a utility room and set his old room up as a second guest bedroom and yoga retreat.

Wallah. I needed something like this.

Wallah. I needed something like this.

I think Merlin will enjoy having a large wash sink in his room, but I did turn off the water to it so he doesn’t enjoy it too much.  That kid!

Prepare for Complete World Domination

At the end of last year Cari and I thought it would be super fun for her to run the PTO at the school for this year.  Unfortunately, at that time, only one person was running for president; Alison Ramapo, who has been running the PTO at good ol’ Donald Rumsfeld Elementary for about a century.  She has six kids and even Margie says she had the last two because she doesn’t want to give up the PTO reins of power.  She has a lot of support in the community and the administration likes her, so it seemd like an uphill battle.  Cari is such a positive person, and we felt like the results of our end of year party would speak for themselves, so she threw her hat in the ring anyway.

At the last meeting of the year we had a ballot box and Miss Laphem from the front office took it away to count.  The next day we heard the sad news; Alison won by a landslide.  Poor Cari.  But, when Cari stopped by the school, Miss Laphem admitted that there had been “irregularities” in the vote, and the administration was looking into it.  Apparently the final count was 1,461 to 2.  There were only 12 people at that meeting.

Why on earth would Alison stuff the ballot box in that way?  No one will ever know, I guess.  Perhaps her hunger for power overwhelmed her common sense.  She claimed to know nothing about it, but who else would do such a thing?  Yesterday the principal called Cari to let her know that she will be president this year and she was free to appoint her own right hand gal to be her vice president.  Watch out Rummy Elementary, the A-team is here!

Krystyn was already elected treasurer (unopposed, who would want it?) and Margie is the secretary once again.  I am so excited to wield this unprecedented power in a responsible and thoughtful manner.

This morning Cari and I had a lil’ exec meeting/mimosa party to make sure we are on the same page about what we want to achieve this year.

I think we got a lot accomplished.  The main thing is we don't want Fat Alice's stupid mom to have any position of power at all.

I think we got a lot accomplished. The main thing is we don’t want Fat Alice’s stupid mom to have any position of power at all.

Meanwhile, the girlies were outside planning ther own year.  They will be going back as fifth graders in just two more weeks!  I will miss having my lil’ mini-me around so much!

They are hoping that Alcott will join with them to make Sylvia's year really miserable.  She should never have called my darling a bully!

They are hoping that Alcott will join with them to make Sylvia’s year really miserable. She should never have called my darling a bully!

I guess it is just one more responsibilty for St. Lah Lee!  It is worth it to me to improve the education for all of the children in our community, even the dumb ones and the unattractive ones.

 

What Would You Do?

I may have mentioned before that Starling is absolutely brilliant and a wonderful student, but she finds school difficult.  This year has been particularly hard on my lil’ princess.  There were some claims that she was a bully (untrue), a couple or maybe four or five suspensions for bullying and then the inevitable bullying by other students and their parents about Starling being a bully.  That is not right!

She has also been complaining about being bored all year and I have had multiple phone calls with her teachers about what they need to do to challenge Starling more.  She would like more field trips, more high interest enrichment like performing plays about fairies that she writes, dressage instead of gym class, and just more.  The teachers seem uninterested in even discussing our ideas, particularly very late at night when I have my best ideas, and I am feeling frustrated.

This morning Starling told me that she was no longer going to go to school.  She didn’t fight me or anything, just refused to go.  I immediately called that lovely private school in the next town over to see if I could drop her off there (I thought that Röbert and I could figure out the tuition etc. later).  Did you know that you have to apply ahead of time to go to fancy private schools?  Wow.  I just thought you needed to show up with a check.  Also, more expensive than I expected.

Homeschooling is a no go.  I am far too busy with my blog etc. to have time for that.  But what can I do?  Is there a free alternative to school?  Something that is super-convenient for me?

She is far too smart for her public school teachers.

She is far too smart for her public school teachers.

 

Injustice Towards Women!

I am fired up right now!  Starling just told me that she did not place first in the science fair.  Once again some dopey boy from the genius class won with some ridiculously boring project that he had spent months holed up in his basement working on.  Starling’s board looked absolutely darling.  We hired a photographer to take pictures of her looking sciency to include on it and I put it together for her so it would be profesh and nice.

Believe it or not,  this is not an actual experiment!

Believe it or not, this is not an actual experiment!

If they had allowed Starling to continue with her original experiment I am sure she would have gone on to nationals!

Meanwhile, I guess I’d better confess that the nerdy kid who won the science fair is my own lil’ Merlin.  Why does he want to be so weird and unpopular?  His boards had way too many words on them. and the whole project was so boring that I can’t even deal.

He tried to explain this to me but just, ugh!

He tried to explain this to me but just, ugh!

I didn’t make it to the science fair last night because I forgot all about it, and of course Merlin never mentioned his win to me.  He said that Mr. Williams and his girlfriend were planning to take him out to lunch to celebrate today, but I put the kibosh on that.  I don’t need that Renata person being cruel to another one of my children.  I explained to Merlin that we can’t really celebrate because Starling didn’t win and she would feel bad.  Of course he understood.

Do we have to go to the regionals?  That just sounds like such a bummer.  Why can’t girls win in science sometimes?

Committee Meeting

Cari and I were up late last night, ironing out the essentials of our End of Year Party.  I can’t even believe what a mess the committee members have made of what would have been an easy task if they had simply followed our directions.

The party is in less than two weeks and this is what they have arranged so far.  For dinner: pizza and two liter bottles of soda.  For entertainment: the Man Space Band, which is a bunch of overweight dads who play in their spare time and are awful!  For children’s activities: a couple of party games and a craft made out of popsicle sticks and glue.

Does this sound like a party to ANYONE? 

No one even called Drake to see if he is available.  I am sure he isn’t now, but he might have been when I told Marsha to contact his people.  You never know.

So Cari and I drafted a twelve page manifesto and went out for a mimosa or two before our committee meeting.

Page eight.  We have a lot of great ideas, but it is going to mean work!

Page eight. We have a lot of great ideas, but it is going to mean work!

The meeting lasted six hours and was very lively.  Some of the committee members quit because they think our ideas are “too hard”.  Fine.  They can go to a crummy party with pizza and soda instead of the spectacular gala we will be having.

It was dark out by the time we left the meeting.  Phew! I need a lil' vino.

It was dark out by the time we left the meeting. Phew! I need a lil’ vino.

I am letting Röbert have the fun of bathing the kiddos and putting them to bed while I rest on my laurels and my 450 count Egyptian cotton sheets.  It is hard making people do what they should do.

 

Outrageous!

When I was picking the children up from school on Friday the Principal told me that she wanted to meet with me on Monday (today) about Starling’s science fair project.  I was sure that meant she was going to get the gold medal or whatever they give to science fair winners.  I was thrilled, but I didn’t mention it to anyone (except Cari, since Amber was also working on the project) because I didn’t want other parents to feel bad about their children not winning science fair this year.  I am humble like that.

Imagine my surprise when I was told this morning that Starling’s project was being disqualified from the competition.  Apparently they think that rating her classmates based on both appearance and popularity is arbitrary and “mean”.  I did point out that Starling was not  rating her classmates’ appearance herself, it was being done by a scientific sampling of strangers online.  Also, the popularity rankings are pretty obvious to everyone else in the class, it isn’t something that they are arbitrarily making up.  Mrs. Swedburg was very firm about it though, so now Starling and Amber have to start over from scratch.  Honestly, all of this political correctness is getting irritating!

Starling decided to do a blind tasting of lemonade to see whether boys or girls prefer lemonade sweetened with sugar or lemonade sweetened with artificial sweetener.  They are going to make a third jug of lemonade with quite a bit of added sugar to see if the fatties, like Fat Alice and Julia prefer that, but we may have to keep those results to ourselves.

Yesterday Röbert did have some earrings for me at lunch time.  The stones are smallish, but baby steps, am I right?  They are such an improvement over kayak lessons, and I have big hopes for my birthday this year.  He also made dinner last night.  There is nothing sexier than a man with a gas grill!

Yum!  My hubby is hot and so is the chicken.

Yum! My hubby is hot and so is the chicken.