Category Archives: My Perfect Family

I Am Back

What a whirlwind year 2016 has been for my lil’ family!  Röbby and I are so in love and my lil’ angles are perfection itself.  Starling is the prettiest and most popular girl in middle school if you can even believe it, and we have moved our bebe Hummus to the most exclusive nursery school in the county following the closure of his last school for human trafficking or some such.

I am doing something very important right now with this blog, which is called rebranding. As my longtime readers all know, I am very, very respectful of my children’s privacy.  As Starling enters a very delicate period in her development I have to respect her privacy even more. In a nutshell, I can’t post a bunch of pictures she knows about.  I will try to sneak a photo or six in here and there so you can all see how much better and cuter my family is than yours, but I am also going to focus more on lifestyle, politics, cooking and entertaining and even weight loss and exercise.  You all have a lot to learn from ol’ Lah Lee!

And I can’t wait to hear from you, my darling readers too.  Of course I will still moderate every last thing you write, since most of you are crazy, but I would love to answer your questions right here on my famous blog.


Lah Lee


Suck it liberals!  God bless America!

Father of the Year

One of my many fans PMed me a photo of Merlin at school today.  Thank you, Uranegligentmomlahlee!

4:7:16 pjs

He is always adorable.  He looks exactly like me.

Do you like his school clothes?  He is wearing his pajamas!  I want to wring Röbert’s neck.  What must people think?  Next time I unexpectedly drop the kids off at the last minute for the whole week, Röbert had better not drop the ball again.  So embarrassing!

Being Thrifty

When Röbby told me I had to to “tighten my belt” I was very upset.  I am extremely slender and would have to punch an extra hole on even an XS belt in order to make it any tighter.  It turns out that is a phrase that means “save money”.  Just say what you mean, honey!

I don’t mind being careful with our finances because of course we have a second home now.  One of the suggestions Röbert made was that I could make my own smoothies instead of buying the expensive ones at the gym.  That sounded doable, so I went right out on Monday and bought a Vitamix.  It turns out that I don’t like chopping stuff up to put in the mixer and I also don’t like smoothies.  I had only told Röbert that was what I was spending some money on because he is always so unreasonable about my clothing budget.  Maybe Starling can use the mixer when she is doing her next cleanse.

I was feeling very thrifty, so I decided to also purchase a coffee maker so I don’t have to buy my coffee from that chic little shop downtown.  It was hard to decide, but I chose this one.

2:2:16 coffee

It was very pricey and I also had to order some Kopi Luwak coffee, but it is so pretty.

Too bad I don’t care for coffee and I ended up going to to the coffee shop twice already because that is what I enjoy doing with my gal pals.

I also told Röb that I could make the children’s clothing, but honestly, that is pretty unrealistic.  I went ahead and ordered handmade clothing made by other people for Starling and Merlin.  They haven’t arrived yet but are so chic.

2:3:16 coat

For Starling.  I hope it still fits next fall!

2:3:16 knitwear

For Merlin.  Even the pants are hand knit!

Despite all of my penny pinching I ran right through my weekly budget in the first two days.  I tried the credit card I had borrowed from Röb’s wallet but he had cancelled it, so I had to call him.  He was furious, and said that was my monthly budget, not my weekly one.  LOL!  I think he needs to make some more money.

Anywho, if anyone has some great money saving schemes, I would love to hear about them.  Except not if they involve buying food at Walmart or Sam’s Club.  No way.

Marital Happiness

It is so wonderful to be married to your absolute best friend in the world!  Röbby and I “get” each other on a level which most couples can never even dream of understanding.

Because we are so completely blissful together, Röb moved into a condo closer to his work over the weekend.  He is now able to get to work earlier each day, so he can make even more money to support his beloved family.  The move also gives me more freedom to spend one-on-one time with the kiddos during the week, and I am sure we will be happier than ever!

I know that our thoughtful decision to live separately during the week and maybe some weekends will bother those people who are stuck in the past and don’t understand modern marriages, but for us it is absolutely perfect and has only brought us closer together.  I am sure that our time together will be even better than ever after spending time apart.

I have also decided to stop using my wheelchair, despite my constant, unendurable pain.  It is just too hard to carry such a bulky thing to the car by myself.

This morning I got the kiddos off to school by myself and was able to make it to the gym with a smile on my face.  I am a glass fully full gal!  And I had a fully full glass of vodka to celebrate.

1:31:16 sad eyes

Changes are fantastic, y’all!

I could not possibly be any happier right now!!!!!




MLK Round Up

Yesterday was a day off from school for the big kiddos, but there is never a day off for a busy work from home blogger like me!  I had no idea how I would entertain my wee ones all day with the wintry weather we had and all my important duties at the gym etc., so I signed them both up for a day of service.

Hummus’s school actually doesn’t believe in Martin Luther King.  They say he is a hoax and everyone knows it, so we were covered there.  I signed Starling up to perform some songs and serve cookies at the senior center but old people scare her, so Röb took her to a local 55+ active living community and she dropped some oreos off in the sales office there instead.  Then she got to go help Daddy at the hardware store, the grocery store, the dry cleaner, the paint store, the garden center, the oil change place and a meeting about the new swim club we are thinking about joining.  There is no sense letting Daddy have too much free time on his hands right now, and Mommy is so badly injured that he needs to help out.  It was a very special, very long day together for those two.

Merlin was signed up to do some work for Habitat for Humanity, but when I dropped him off they told him he was too young to work on the building site, but couldn’t reach me on my phone to pick him back up.  Oh well, he had a wonderful time reorganizing their files for them and fixing up a few problems with their computer systems. In the end they told me he could come back anytime.  They must all have a high tolerance for nonsense talk!

1:18:16 Merlin

The sweater is from his grandparents.  Hideous, right?

I didn’t have time to help others, what with my busy blogging schedule, but I took a lil’ time to hang out in the sauna and get a healing massage at the gym.  Still no sign of that bitch Cari, and Krystyn thinks she may have quit the gym completely.  Good.

Missing My Friend

I have been extrememly overwhelmed with setting up this event for the school faculty on Friday and I just wish Cari was here.  Last night I decided that Starling and I should try a lil’ camping on for size and see how it went.  Maybe next year we will be able to go to Burning Man too.  It has been going on for a few years, but it is just starting to catch on with the cooler crowd, and I know we would fit right in.

Starling had done a little camping trip with Röbert a few weeks back, but he says it did not go well, and neither one would talk about it.  I had Röb set up a tent and light a campfire in our yard for us and we went out to to cook our dinner in the wild.

We burned everything so it was romaine leaves for dinner, but that is our favorite meal anyway.

We burned everything so it was romaine leaves for dinner, but that is our favorite meal anyway.

After dinner we went over near the window and tried to read lips on the tv.  It was so frustrating not to know what was going on!  We were so bored by 7:30 we decided to go to bed, but when we saw the ugly sleeping bags we both burst into tears.

It was a school night anyway!  It was really the right thing to go back inside, where we had lovely air-conditioning and there were no bugs and were able to take a long luxurious shower.  I am going to look into the most luxurious way to experience camping out in the future.


Everyone Overreacts to Everything

A little while ago I posted an adorable photo of my bebe, Hummus, participating in a rock climbing camp.  Immediately the haters were all over me because, “Ooooh. look, his helmet is wrong,” and, “oh my, you shouldn’t have lied about his age,” or, “scary, big mountains.”  Enough with the PC police!  I am a wonderful Mama, and believe me when I say that I take very good care of my littles.

Unfortunately, Hummus did fall and his helmet came off (I didn’t realize that you shouldn’t cut off all othose crazy straps) and he got a tiny little bonk on his noggin.  Then the haters were all worried that he would die if i let him sleep.  Enough people!  He is fine!  Babies sleep a lot so they can grow.  I don’t think 20 hours a day is unusual for a two year old.

So here he is, alive and well two weeks later.  Guess what?  His mama knows best.

Happy as a clam, not asleep and no sign of injury. Suck it, haters.

Happy as a clam, not asleep and no sign of injury. Suck it, haters.