Category Archives: My Kiddos

What the Heck?

I am actually furious right now.  I ordered school pictures of all of my children to enclose in my Christmas cards this year and Starling kept forgetting to bring hers home.  I finally marched into her school yesterday afternoon to pick them up.  It was quite a scene trying to get the school to unlock her locker and it wasn’t until I found it myself and began jimmying it open with a jacknife I had confiscated from Merlin before school that someone managed to find a custodian with some sort of universal key.  The photos were in there, so problem solved!

When I got home I discovered that they had somehow distributed the wrong photo to us.


LOL!  Who is this kid?  Her poor mother!

I brought the photos back to the school and demanded a refund but the office ladies seemd confused.  I guess I will have to take Starling over to the mall this weekend to get her photos retaken.  A mother’s work is never done!


Leaving My Angles

The hardest thing about my 29 days away was how hard it was on my lil’ angles.  Starling suffered the most.  Since I got home she has not been interested in looking at photos of my ashram or hearing stories about my healing experience.  It is all about Starling and how she wants to hang out with her friends and what kind of phone she wants for her birthday.

4:15:16 starling

Can you drive me to the mall?

I plan on grounding her until we are able to fully share the experience I have had, and our relationship is back to where I want it to be.

Raising kids is so hard.  They sometimes seem more interested in their friends than their family, and that ain’t right!

Home Again

I must say, I was surprised at how poorly Röbert took the news that I would like a trial separation.  Obviously, I expected him to be upset by my text, but I didn’t think he would leave so many voice mails using some very spicy language!  I couldn’t even listen to them. I had to call his mother and ask her to drop the children off because clearly her son is overwhelmed with grief right now.

There was snow again this morning and school was closed, but I was able to get Hummus and Merlin over to All Praise Our Blessed Little Lambs Preschool, where I knew Miss Sherrilyn would be happy to put Merlin to work on one of the projects around the compound.  I could tell Starling was upset about something and I wanted to give her the opportunity to tell me what it was.

This afternoon, after we made fun of weak people who eat lunch, she asked me what a word means.  Apparently there is a new little girl at school who called Starling “emaciated”.  When I told her that it meant extremely slender she was so relieved!  We decided to do some extra exercise to celebrate.

2:15:16 starling

No wonder her nickname is “Starving”.  She looks amazing!

Merlin’s Doll

I was passing through our conservatory over the weekend and I noticed something behind one of the cushions on a bench we have out there.  It was pretty well hidden because it is the same color as the color on the throw pillows and it just blended right in.  It might have been there for months!

1:31:16 foot

Can you see it back there?

When I pulled it out it was Merlin’s dolly!

Last year I refitted a storage closet as Merlin’s room since I desperately needed more space for exercising and obviously he didn’t really need a big room filled with his toys and books.  I curated his bookshelf so that he now has just three books, all vintage and picturesque and he has just a small wodden airplane and a retro metal rocketship.  I got rid of all of his stuffed toys too, since they were all worn out and ugly.

1:31:16 lion

Ugh!  Lion Baby was filthy looking and worn out.  Merlin cried quite a bit when he found out that he was gone, but he barely mentions him anymore.

I was able to find an artist to create a fun and modern looking soft toy to keep on his bed so his room looked cohesive.  And now I find it behind a pillow in the conservatory?

When I confronted Merlin he started crying again.  He said his doll scares him!  I do not need a wimpy boy in my life right now.  I have too much going on.

1:31:16 dolly

It’s a doll.  Nothing scary here.

I made him march his doll right back upstairs to his bedroom and I will be checking to make sure it is there every single morning.  Someday he will appreciate what I personally sacrificed so he can grow up in a beautiful and harmonious environment.  Right now he is putting on quite a show of silent weeping, though.

Snowed In

We had a lil’ snow over the weekend and my car was completely stuck this morning so I had to walk the littles to school.  We could walk right down the middle of the street because there were no cars on the road, but the snow was deep and it took us a surprisingly long time to get there.  I thought the kids were going to be late but there was no school.  They closed down the whole thing over a tiny bit of snow.  I called up all of the people who work there and they all said it was up to me to listen to the news in the morning to find out.  How am I supposed to know that?

Of course Hummus’s school was open, but it was too far to walk, so I missed a perfectly good day at the gym.

When we got home I knew that Merlin would be eager to help, so I gave him a shovel and set him to work digging out my car, the driveway, the front walk, and the back walk.

1:24:15 dig

Wow, there was a lot of snow!  But Merlin has plenty of energy.

Later in the day I put Hummus in a lil’ snowboarding outfit and had Merlin pull him up the hill in the backyard and my baby is very good.  Perhaps we will also be going to the winter Olympics with him someday.

1:24:16 snobored

Just like Sean White except not hideously ugly.

Starling was inside watching Frozen over and over and playing with the human hair clip-on extensions I got her so she could have hair like Elsa.  LOL.  I have a tiny surprise for her tomorrow so I was glad she was not insisting on going outside.



Another Mystery

I was going to ask the other moms who stayed for the church service at All Praise Our Blessed Little Lambs Preschool what happened and whether Hummus actually spoke, but Miss Sherrilyn said they had both decided that the tuition was too high and had withdrawn their children.  That is too bad, but maybe they now have room for a little boy from the gym whose mom I like.  She lives right nearby and could probably drive Hummus back and forth to school for me too.  Like a carpool, except with her driving.

I was cleaning out Merlin’s pockets today and I found a letter to Santa.  Good news!  He doesn’t want anything real!

Honestly, his handwriting is atrocious.  Hopefully his substitute teacher can do something about that!

Honestly, his handwriting is atrocious. Hopefully his substitute teacher can do something about that!

Acting Like a G. D. Baby

Starling told me that Merlin has been getting teased at school because of how he dresses.  I think he should be the one doing the teasing because the rest of the boys wear stupid ugly sweat pants and dumb t-shirts.  I like my fellas to look like lil’ gentlemen.

Yesterday I was out shopping and I found a darling outfit that I just knew would be “cool” for school.  It even has skulls on the pants.  When Merlin came downstairs this morning he was sniffling and acting like a baby.  I told him to buck up and stop crying.  Honestly, he just wants attention all of the time!

Adorable! He looks great. And it is a very "cool" look. I am sure the other children will be kind.

Adorable! He looks great. And harem pants are a very “cool” look. I am sure the other children will be kind.