What a whirlwind year 2016 has been for my lil’ family! Röbby and I are so in love and my lil’ angles are perfection itself. Starling is the prettiest and most popular girl in middle school if you can even believe it, and we have moved our bebe Hummus to the most exclusive nursery school in the county following the closure of his last school for human trafficking or some such.
I am doing something very important right now with this blog, which is called rebranding. As my longtime readers all know, I am very, very respectful of my children’s privacy. As Starling enters a very delicate period in her development I have to respect her privacy even more. In a nutshell, I can’t post a bunch of pictures she knows about. I will try to sneak a photo or six in here and there so you can all see how much better and cuter my family is than yours, but I am also going to focus more on lifestyle, politics, cooking and entertaining and even weight loss and exercise. You all have a lot to learn from ol’ Lah Lee!
And I can’t wait to hear from you, my darling readers too. Of course I will still moderate every last thing you write, since most of you are crazy, but I would love to answer your questions right here on my famous blog.
Suck it liberals! God bless America!
My comets have been acting up. I have hopefully worked it all out with WordPress so that they work now. As always, I moderate the comets since some people are crazy (not you, but that one, over there) and I am busy with the gym etc. so they get approved as soon as I get home. Anywho, hope they are working better now.
A sweet photo of me to cheer you up if your comet is lost or something.
I wanted to send an Edible Arrangement to Karen to begin to heal our friendship, but I am having a tiny cash flow situation as a result of the beautiful Frozen castle in our yard and I haven’t been able to find any of Röbert’s hidden credit cards. Being industrious, I found a lovely fruit tray online and asked Merlin to recreate it for me.
Simple enough, and he can get back to his all-important homework when he is done.
Imagine my surprise when I saw him upstairs on the computer not two hours later and he told me he was done.
Does this look done to anyone? And kale? Really, Merlin?
He is back downstairs finishing it now, but I don’t think I will have the opportunity to drop it off until tomorrow.
By the time Kathy finally made it downstairs this morning I had missed Barre and Spin, but it didn’t matter. I had planned a special day for her to pour her heart out to me.
I had suggested we could go shopping, but when she came downstairs in this number I decided to take her back to the state park I had been to with Stefan. I couldn’t be seen with her dressed like this!
While we were driving she told me that Stefan had offered her a very generous settlement, but she just felt it was wrong to profit off of him in that way. Normally I would have been texting Krystyn for the name of her ruthless divorce lawyer at that point, but instead I just agreed with her. “You don’t want anything of his!” I said, “Make a clean break. You can get by just fine on your adjunct professor salary, right?” She admitted that she might need to take on a part time job too, but I encouraged her to be independent. LOL! I was laughing so hard on the inside.
We sat under the tree where Stefan and I had kissed last week and talked about what a really bad person Claire is and how she had always seemed two-faced to me. All at once, Kathy saw all of the signs. LOL. I encouraged her just to make a clean break with Claire too. There is no sense in questioning her about something she will only deny.
When we got home Kathy told me that she had always misjudged me. I reminded her that she had listened to Claire, who thought I had stolen Röbert away from her. It was Claire who drove Röbert away with her wanting to get married and wanting to be grownup all of the time. Claire is the one who is maybe canoodling with her husband now. Claire is the bad person here. LOL. She told me I am a very good friend.
Kathy is right. I am a very good friend. I am just not her friend.
Late this afternoon there was a knock at my front door and some muffled sobbing outside and you won’t even believe who showed up at my home! Kathy! She was looking for Röbert and she was crying buckets.
Apparently Stefan left her. He told her he was in love with someone else, but wouldn’t tell her who. He also said that the other person was not his reason for leaving her, that he didn’t love her anymore. Wow! That must have stung. LOL.
If you dress in lumpy sweaters you don’t get to keep cute, rich husbands.
She asked if she could stay overnight. What could I say? I was dying to hear the whole messy story. I rushed her right up to the guest bedroom and brought her a cold glass of wine and ran her a bath. I even brought out the nice guest towels and fluffy robe. LOL.
Then I told her how I had always suspected that Stefan had a thing for her best friend, Claire. LOL LOL LOL! Had he been traveling abroad much lately, because I knew Claire had been working on some archaeological thing abroad? Hahahaha! Yes, it turns out that Stefan has been doing quite a bit of travel! LOL a million times.
I left her and called up Le Petit Bistro for some food and gave the children a little mac and cheese and sent them up early.
When Röbert came home I was all solicitous care with Kathy and, of course, he was kind but wanted nothing more than to sit quietly and watch ESPN. What man wants to listen to someone cry about their failed marriage? I got her a tiny bit drunk and sent her up to bed. I couldn’t wait to text Cari and have a good laugh!
I guess Renata decided that she had caused enough destruction in Ty’s life for one week. I took the doggies on a run past his house this morning and it looks like she tried to clean up a little, but the yard is pretty much destroyed and it looks like she had some workmen doing repairs inside the home too. What is wrong with her? Ty is such a nice man and she treats him terribly!
Beefy kicked the bags and they sounded like they are mostly bottles. I am going to let that chatty religious lady who stands downtown handing out pamphlets about alcoholism and drug abuse know Renata’s phone number and address so she can spend some time counseling her.
Meanwhile, Renata’s car is gone and I can’t imagine she will want to be there when Ty gets home tomorrow. There is no reason for her to be there either, since St. Lah Lee stepped in once again to save the day, and take care of the dog. All the dogs really. I have heard from many, many dog owners thanking me for finding their pets today.
Happy to be in a safe and loving home after the horrors of his week in the care of Renata, the snake.
Merlin called home a lil’ upset last night. He is loving his ridiculous camp (I am sure it is nerd heaven!) but he said he overheard Mr. Williams shouting at someone on his phone yesterday and he doesn’t like to see him sad. Poor Ty! I wonder what could be bothering him so much?
I was worried that Renata might not have found his dog yet, so I drove by his house to see if I could spot Dementor, and I spotted a whole lot more! There was an absolutely wild party going on at the house. I have no idea how many people Renata even knows, but it seemed more like she had posted a “Free Kegger” sign at a local university rather than the little invite she had on her Facebook page to a couple of girlfriends yesterday. She was (of course) crying in the front yard again. It seems like that is all she does lately. Someone must have called the police, because while I was driving by the craziness, several squad cars pulled up. Uh-oh! I hope there weren’t any underage people there. That would reflect poorly on Ty as the homeowner and a local teacher.
It was too dark (and I was too shocked) to snap any pictures last night, but I did manage to get this one of the yard this morning. Renata certainly seems pleased with the way she destroyed all of Ty’s hard work.
I would certainly never send this to Ty, but I may have to post it on Instagram. She is not a good person.
I want to know if she was actually arrested so I am heading over to Cari’s to see if we can access the police database. Cari is a whiz with computers!