I have just not felt like myself this week. I had a very upsetting conversation with Stefan last weekend and I have felt very jumpy and nervous all week.
I decided that the most important thing is for me to spend more quality time with Röbert, so I dropped the kiddos with my parents for the night and planned a fun little date night for us. It was not a date night like I would prefer (shopping, dinner at an exclusive restaurant, more shopping…) but something that he seems to enjoy. Not camping. Not even for Röbert could I call camping a date.
When he got home from work I told him to change into some casual clothes and we would go out for some fun. He seemed pretty surprised, but happy. First we went bowling. It wasn’t a gross bowling alley with leagues and all that. It was more of a hipster establishment that I had heard Ty mention. Röbert liked it but I don’t know how you get the ball not to go into those things on the side. I got zero points. It was boring.
Then we went to a sports pub for dinner. It was all fried food so I ordered chicken wings with hot sauce on the side and dipped celery into my vodka for dinner. Röb kept talking about some stupid game that was on a television, I think baseball? Who knows.
We got home and I went into the bathroom and drew myself a nice bubble bath and lit some scented candles and got myself a nice big glass of wine. I sat in there and cried until the water was cold then I poured more hot water in and cried some more.
My birthday is coming up soon and I am so excited to see what kind of party and gift Röbert comes up with this year. Last year was a bit of a disappointment, but I am sure he will step up now!
I would plan my own party, but that seems kind of desperate and pathetic, no? But I did do something really smart this morning. I went up to the mountains with Robert while the kids were all visiting friends (except Hummus, who had an extra day of sessions at his tennis academy). We went there to go kayaking so Röbert would be feeling extra happy with me while he considers how much he wants to spend on my birthday.
I think this photo should be worth at least one karat.
This morning my parents took the children to church with them which gave Röbert and me a chance to spend some alone time together. We decided to have a nice brunch, but Röb completely ruined it by talking about money again. Why does he always ruin our happy times by talking about stupid money?
Apparently we aren’t rich, which is a surprise to exactly no one. He wants me to cut back a little bit, but where can I cut back? Starling and I don’t eat anything and I barely buy any shoes and clothes anymore. He said something about my gym membership and charges to the cafe there and I got a splitting my grain! My gym membership? He had better be joking!
I mentioned how I needed a some me time, what with him spending so much time away from home last winter and he looked like he might have a lil’ my grain too. Would that be a him grain? Remind me to look it up. He got kind of quiet then, and said that he was no longer spending that time away from our family and he would like to explore whether he and I could eventually get our exercise in the great outdoors, together. I said sure. I mean, I know I can’t give up the gym, but I can pretend to try.
He is so handsome and kind. I have a hard time saying no to him!
We had several glasses of champagne and by the end of the meal I think I may have agreed to go camping. I know I will hate camping. Ugh. What have I done?