This morning, when I dropped by the school to tell some other parents what to do, I was asked by Miss Laphem, the school secretary, where Cari has been. The school has been trying to reach her and of course she is off the grid at Burning Man.
When I tried to explain how Burning Man was an amazing, conciousness raising event, Miss Laphem actually quite rudely interupted me and informed me that there was a PTO meeting in one hour. I was surprised. I thought that schedule of meetings was just a guideline, and Cari and I could say when and where we want to meet. Apparently not. I tried to explain how I had barre and then a luncheon with my book club and then cross fit and Miss Laphem replied, “Well then Cari had better get her ass home from Burning Man, hadn’t she.”
Wow. Just wow. I had no Idea Miss Laphem could be so spicy.
What else could I do? I ran home and changed into a more PTO vice presidential outfit and headed back. Thank God Krystyn was in charge of the agenda, because otherwise I would have been lost.
I was pretty late, but it is never too late for a selfie when you are wearing a cute new outfit.
It turns out that Cari and I were also supposed to be planning a party for the faculty this Friday. It is an annual event called “Second Friday”, although I am sure I can come up with something better, and when I was asked where it was going to be I had no idea and blurted out, “My house.” Oh dear. I guess I’d better call some caterers.
So some genius at Merlin’s school decided that he belongs in the gifted program. Can you believe it? I thought they had made a mistake when he brought the paper home yesterday and called to let them know that it is STARLING they are thinking of, but nope, it’s Merlin. I am dumbfounded. I marched right into the office today to ask them to test Starling again and the lady (and I use that term loosely) who is in charge said she had been tested and did not qualify. Clearly there is something wrong with their testing but I guess it will be good for Merlin to meet some smart people instead of the hooligans he wants to invite over (which is why I have a no playdate rule with him).
Then today he came home with a violin! Excuse me, but isn’t that a girl instrument? I told him to take it right back but apparently it is a part of the gifted program. I hope they are ready to replace it when he breaks it, because I am not. I think I will call tomorrow to see if there is a more manly instrument he can play instead.
A violin! They must be crazy!
I decided to try something new for dinner and bought some artichokes. Does anyone know how to cook these things? They are ridiculous. I stuck them in the oven for hours and they were still all leafy and weird looking so I threw them away. The children had all fallen asleep waiting for dinner so I poured myself a lil’ wine and relaxed!
How the hell do you eat these things?
Röbert is still camping with his buddies. Or maybe not camping, I don’t know. There are mountains there…is that camping or hiking? Maybe mountain climbing? I am not sure.
Does it look like mountain climbing maybe?
Today was the back to school pool party for the whole school. I decided Merlin would not go because he is so clumsy and always tripping and would probably end up hurting someone. Starling had a marvelous time with her friends though!
All smiles! That’s my girl!
I decided that instead of letting Merlin read a book in the car, he would probably be fine at home alone for a few hours. We’d already tried it a few times this summer and he hasn’t burned the house down yet, LOL! Just try to imagine how disappointed I was to find him jumping on the bed in the guest room when I got home! That boy is a handful!
Naughty as always!
I have decided I am a photographer and maybe since my Mommy advice thing didn’t pan out (I had lots and lots of clients VERY interested, I just kept forgetting to think of good advice) I will be a professional photographer. If you need a family photo, I am your girl. I took a few of Starling and Hummus for a portfolio of sorts, but I think anyone who has seen my blog knows that I am no amateur!
Naked pictures are so artistic!
Of course I couldn’t use Merlin because of that blasted knee bandaid!
Oh, and by the way haters, I don’t need to hear about how I am “exploiting” my children by posting naked photos for perverts to look at. I am their Mom and I know what is best FOR THEM. I will not tell you how to raise your children, so don’t you tell me how to exploit mine. Stepping off my soapbox!