I Suffer More Than Anyone Has Ever Suffered

If you have never been shot, I don’t recommend it.  First of all, it really hurts a lot.  Also, the police seem uninterested in talking to me about who I think they need to be questioning, and  very interested in bothering my friends.  Poor Ty has apparently had to speak to them several times.  He does not deserve to be harrassed in this manner!  Today Detective Wallace was actually quite dismissive when I called with a lead about ISIS targeting attractive American women with prominent blogs.

The worst thing is that I am supposed to do almost nothing all day long.  No computers, no tv, no exercise, no fun.  The kids went back to school today and I was instructed to stay home and “relax”.  Lah Lee is not a relaxer.  I tried to get up to do a lil’ light yoga on the sly but I was dizzy and could barely do a single pose without experiencing a great stabbing pain.  Then I tried to spend a tiny bit of time on Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook and I watched a few episodes of Live From Lincoln Center while I read spoilers about the new season of The Bachelor on my eyepad, but I ended up with a tremendous my grain.  I don’t know what I ever did to deserve to be in such a horrible situation.

Krystyn called with some delicious gossip, though.  Apparently Cari’s latest guy dumped her the day after Christmas, calling her pushy and controlling.  For some reason this news delights me!

That's just me, Lah Lee, always smilin' through the tears.

That’s just me, Lah Lee, always smilin’ through the tears.

Even the pain pills the doctors gave me aren’t working well, but I just keep on doing my best to bring joy to everyone around me.

13 thoughts on “I Suffer More Than Anyone Has Ever Suffered

  1. jumped the sheep

    I would call Robert and ask him to bring you home a nice stack of books so that you can relax and be entertained. I found a list of the most hipster books of all times and they suggest A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, by Dave Eggers, No One Belongs Here More Than You, by Miranda Joy (that is one I bet would do wonders for you to get back some of your pizzazz and self esteem, and Friendship: A Novel, by Emily Could. I believe Nightingale was VERY popular amongst the mommy bloggers a bit ago so if you haven’t read that, have him pick it up as well. And some magazines, natch.


  2. afriendinneedindeed

    Oh my, Lah Lee…may I just say that in your quiet suffering, you remind me of Mother Teresa or some other tortured saint. I can’t think of another one right now. Just know that you are in my prayers.


  3. Cindy McCain

    Oh honey. Not to be able to do yoga must be literal torture almost like what John suffered! How horrible for you. I hope you don’t die young because of this. On the other hand your corpse would be beautiful. But that’s just tragic that you’re getting headaches from a teeny little bit of internet. Did you get shot in the temple? You poor thing. Are you SURE those medications are prescription strength? Maybe you could ask for just a little more or maybe double up on your dosage. PRO TIP: the directions on the bottle are just a guideline, dear.


  4. That Concerned Reader

    You poor thing, Lah Lee. Perhaps you should try to visit a doctor to get a stronger pain prescription. I’ve heard the doctors in rural areas are more lenient.


    1. Cindy McCain

      It also helps if you’re the ones signing their paycheck! Take it from me! But Lah Lee is not in that position (with great power comes great responsibility but my dear you have enough on your plate), so… I think the best thing is just call around. Call around, darling! What one doctor withholds, another will dispense. You just have to keep trying and never give up! Quitters never win, you know! And winners never quit looking for sweet sweet opioids.


  5. SugarToes

    I was just reading an article on FB that talked about how doctors almost never take females who are in pain seriously. You might want to read up on it before your next appointment so that you can put your insensitive doc in his place!! Remember, sweetie, you can’t do it all! you need to put YOU first.



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