Christmas was a lil’ crazy Chez Smith.
Merlin was up at the crack of nine asking about gift opening, and “special breakfast”. What the hell? Who told him I would be cooking on Christmas morning? And he specifically asked for no gifts.
I told him to go entertain himself in his room for another hour or two, Mommy was up late looking up old “friends” on Insta.
We were up well before noon and the children were all hyper and overexcited. It took Starling forever to open all of her presents and she was furious because her hoverboard was periwinkle and not turquoise. Hummus loved his lil’ Saab and was crashing into everyone with it, but Röb said it was too dangerous for him to take it into the driveway alone. I certainly wasn’t going outside with him! Freaking Merlin named his doll Percy. What is wrong with that kid? It’s like he’s begging to be bullied.
I kept looking for a small necklacey box, but I didn’t see one. Finally Röbert handed me a medium box, which could be good or bad. It was not good. He had bought me a sweater set. I am sure it was expensive, it was cashmere. It looked like something his mother would wear. The worst part was the color; it was kind of a peachy beige. I would look naked from any distance at all. No.
Röbert was also acting ridiculous. He kept crying over every damned thing the children said. They say stupid things every day, Röb, pay attention. All the boo-hooing makes you look soft.
I just had a bad feeling about everything. My besty had deserted me, my husband had given me a hideous gift and was acting like it was his last day on earth, my children were behaving like jerky little assholes. I really needed to make a move.
I went upstairs to “take a nap” and packed a suitcase and snuck out the back door. I thoughtfully took Röbby’s BMW, because he will need the Honda Odyssey to haul the kids around, and I headed for the mountains. I called Stefan on the way. He is skiing with his family until January 3rd or 4th, but he gave me the security codes to his lake house, so here I am, relaxing with a glass of mulled wine.
There is no Christmas tree here, but my phone has been lighting up like one since yesterday. First Röbert has been calling and texting and now Cari all of a sudden is interested in talking to me. Nope. Handle your own damned selves, folks. Lah Lee is finally looking out for Lah Lee.
One weird thing; I went out back to take some photos of the views and I swear I could smell the marijuana again. Could it be a symptom of a rare brain disease or something?