The Big Day is Finally Here

We have been in a frenzy getting costumes together for the Halloween parade at school!  It is very important to me that my children have the best costumes because, as the VP of the PTO, I want to set an example for the other families.  People shouldn’t be so cheap with their childrens’ costumes!  Walmart is for the poors!  We live in a nice community and we should have lavish handcrafted costumes, or order them from expensive specialty stores.  Off my soapbox for now.

Starling and her friends all wanted to be pirates together.  I thought it would be nice for them to be birds of prey, but some of the other moms had trouble finding those costumes and were too lazy to make them themselves, so pirates it was.

Merlin said his whole class was dressing up as characters from some book about Bobbits.  I don’t even know what a Bobbit is!  Isn’t it part of a sewing machine?  Ridiculous.  I ordered him a cute octopus costume to go with our seafaring theme.

Avast ye mateys. Behave or I'll keel haul ya!

She sails the seven seas, and he has eight arms.  Even our costumes are educational.

Once again, when I surprised him with the costume this morning he started crying.  Enough already.  I was ready to keep him home and let him miss all of the fun at school, but then I would have been stuck with him all day.

Once they got on the bus I dropped Hummus off at his school, where they don’t celebrate Halloween at all.  As a matter of fact, they were having an all day revival meeting for the children today on how the devil will tempt you with candy and other wordly goods.  Miss Sherrilynn said I could stay, but I couldn’t really hear her over Hummus’s grunts and wails, and besides, I had a Halloween parade to attend as practically the head of the whole school.

I hurried home and changed into my own costume.  I thought it was a cute idea to dress as a pirate too!

Hi-ho and ahoy. I'll keel haul ya if ye don't behave!

Hi-ho and ahoy. I’ll keel haul ya if ye don’t behave!

Unfortunately when I got outside I realized that it was pretty chilly out, and I didn’t want to ruin the lines of the costume with a cardigan.  I wish I’d thought to buy a frock coat to go with it.  Fortunately I had another costume I had purchased “just in case”.

Rowr! Sexy Cecil!

Rowr! Sexy Cecil!

Everyone knows how much I care about animals, especially the ones I read about in People Magazine and other news journals.  The unspeakable CATastrophe of Cecil was the most moving story of the entire year, and I wanted to call attention to the worldwide crisis of chubby dentists killing beautiful game animals.  I think that if by wearing this costume i can make one chubby dentist think twice before shooting a well known lion, then my costume has been worth it.

By the time I got to school the parade was over.  Oh well.  I walked into all of the classrooms and everyone loved my costume.  Merlin was all smiles because Ty had told the other children he was a Cracking (whatever that means) and they were all yelling “Release the Cracking” while he ran around like a crazy person.  I think we all need a lil’ Benadryl tonight, to ward off the colds.



8 thoughts on “The Big Day is Finally Here

  1. 12thFetus4Jesus

    I’m not a teacher, but you need to have a serious discussion with the school about the appropriateness of children dressing up as Bobbits. Grade school years are tender years and not a time for students to be learning about why Lorena Bobbit cut off John Bobbit’s mr. winky, even if it is an important part of American History. Frankly, I am shocked at how parents were not required to sign permission slips for their child to attend!


  2. grammarian

    question for you that my little group has been discussing. when you see someone you would never invite to your exclusive gathering walk by your front yard, right in front of the deejay, do you turn your head and act like you don’t see them, or wave in a way that says you see them but is the opposite of inviting them in? this has been a big discussion today.


    1. Cindy McCain

      How on earth do you live in a place where anyone can just walk past? Fix that problem first.

      Myself I am always too busy to see unimportant people.

      Lah Lee your costumes are delightful, my dear. I am glad Human’s school is saving his teeth as well as his soul.



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