Merlin’s New Friend

Merlin has been talking all week about his new friend at school.  She is Starling’s age, but she just transferred into the genius class and Merlin couldn’t stop telling me about her.  I spotted him chatting with her after school and she was adorable looking.  I was highly suspect; why would a cute older girl want to be seen with my lil’ weirdo?

I was happy enough though, since I have been dying for him to stop spending so much time with those odd twins of Margie’s, so when he asked if she could come after school today, of course I said yes.  I will say, her mother seemed a bit hesitant on the phone, but I assumed she just didn’t know me yet.  I can be a very strategic friend!

Allie was absolutely delightful.  I offered them some juice and cookies after school and she very politely inquired if she could have water instead and pulled a portion controlled snack of raisins and carrots from her bag.  Wow.  I was impressed.  The two of them were outside playing some of Merlin’s crazy games with the Wozinski girls from next door for hours and they seemed to have a great time.

They had just come inside and were straightening the playroom when Starling came home and was furious.  “What is she doing here?” she asked.  I said that Allie was Merlin’s new friend and she informed me that Aliie is, in fact, Fat Alice, and she went to fat camp this summer.

What?  I couldn’t believe my ears.  Allie seemed so cute and nice, but obviously that can’t be true.  Starling ran upstairs crying.  She felt like I had ruined her life by having Fat Alice over. Poor Starling.

Here is Fat Alice last spring.

Here is Fat Alice last spring.

Would you even recognize her now?  She was wearing a trapeze style top which makes her look a little larger but her legs are very slender.  I would never have believed it was her if Starling hadn’t wept so hard.

I swear her mother even did her brows, which would be a miracle considering what her mom's brows look like.

I swear her mother even did her brows, which would be a miracle considering what her mom’s brows look like.

What should I do if Merlin wants to play with her again?

9 thoughts on “Merlin’s New Friend

  1. Mom2Lex+Zander

    Any friend who’d have my boys playing outside for hours would be welcome back to my backyard!!
    Just send Hummus out with them next time so you can have girl time with Starling. 🙂


  2. Jumped the Sheep

    Encourage it! Everyone loves a train wreck that transforms itself into something winning and adorable! Starling can get an in and be the first to befriend the girl who will, surely, end up with a lot of friends this year due to her finally gaining some discipline and understanding that fat is NOT OK. She’s like one of those foreign exchange students, a novelty, and everyone, and I mean EVERYONE is going to want a piece of her!


  3. Cindy McCain

    Fat camp is a temporary AT BEST solution. Wait it out. She will get fat again in no time and Merlin will wake the fuck up. Don’t worry, dear. It’s not like he’s going to MARRY her or anything.


      1. 12thFetus4Jesus

        I would insist that she have a snack at your house when she comes to visit. The day old bakery always has lots of pastries, donuts, etc that are very filling. Encourage seconds and thirds, because growing kids need energy, right? You’ll look like the perfect mom who always has food out for visitors, too.



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