Preschool Hopes

Merlin and Starling both attended this wonderful preschool in town, where all of the better families send their children.  Hummus is only just two, but I feel like he is ready for preschool now.  He is so bright and inquisitive.  He still isn’t speaking, but that is totally normal, I am sure, and he can get into mischief like all other children his age.

Oh, Hummus! You are such an acrobat!

Oh, Hummus! You are such an acrobat!

I have sent a letter to the new director at the school, encouraging her to waive the requirements for admissions for us.  They say he must be three and potty trained.  I don’t think that applies in our case because he is ready for school and his brother is a freaking genius.  Keep your fingers crossed because this director has also started a program where children can be dropped off early and stay until six.

I ran out to the farmer’s market yesterday and guess who was there?  That viper, Renata.  She had no ring and was wearing glasses, probably to hide her puffy eyes.  Her hair was a mess but her skin condition has improved.  Good for her!

Bitch.

Bitch.

 

23 thoughts on “Preschool Hopes

  1. Jules

    Aw man I hate it when schools act like their rules are all “unbendable” and they can’t make an exception, even when it’s totally warranted.

    IDEA: Obvsly, you don’t want it to look like you are openly “bribing” them or anything (LOL as if!) but I think it would be a great investment in Humus’s academic future if you slipped a check for, like, $500 to the director and told her you just loved the school and that maybe your lil donation could help them make some improvements or something. Just a thought. Money talks!

    Also, Ramada’s lookin’ hot! Hate to say it, but it’s true. On the bright side, if she keeps wearing lo cut tramp tops like that, her decollage will be all leathery and wrinkly by the time she’s your age.

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  2. Cindy McCain

    Well of course I would never let a corporation raise my children for me, even though a corporation IS practically a person, it can never replace a mother’s love. I raised all my children myself every inch of the way except of course when I was doing my charity work in Africa and having my little detour into the wondrous world of opiates.

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  3. PSL Mama

    Are you sure that was Renata? She looks beautiful and happy too. Did she and Ty break up? This woman looks too good to be Renata.

    As far as Hummus goes….do you every worry that his name (sounds so Middle Eastern to me) might affect his chances of getting into prestigious schools? I sure hope not but if it was my child, I might make his name more WASP sounding. Hummus sounds very ethnic.

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    1. What the what...?

      I think PSL might be on to something here. What if you nicknamed him “John John” and then changed his last name to Kennedy? “Hummus Smith”, “John John Kennedy” – SO similar. No one will notice the change. You could also say that you don’t want to go by “Smith” because of your cousin “William Kennedy Smith”. EVERYONE will understand that one.

      Add in the aforementioned school donation and I’m sure they’ll extend pickup until seven for you!

      Lastly, Renata…. Yikes. Someone may be looking for a man, but all they’re going to get is skin cancer with that get up. Yuck.

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    2. sallywattsphotography

      Oh, that is an excellent point. You know how you’re supposed to make your children something Presidential? Right now the only future POTUS you have is Merlin.

      Maybe Hummus could be called Hubert or Humboldt? And Starling would be a lovely Claire, although you’ll have to keep pushing those carrot sticks since its a fat girls’ name.

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      1. Cindy McCain

        *SNORT* Trust me none of Lah Lee’s trend-o names are in the least Presidential. John, Jack, George: THESE are presidential names. Possibly Jeb. Definitely not DONALD or HILLARY.

        I could see Sterling as president. She seems hardworking and motivated. Merlin’s too intellectual.

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    3. Mrs. Rothschild

      I agree with Jules and you, PSL Mama: Renata is looking pretty great these days. Maybe she’s been doing a lil juice cleanse?

      And PSL is right that Hummus sounds Middle Eastern, because it is! “Hummus” is an Arabic word (حُمُّص‎) that means “chick pea,” which is a pretty cute name when you think about it.

      Good luck with the beginning of school, Lah Lee! Have you made a list of what you’ll do with all the free time you’ll have when all three kids are in school?

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  4. Equestrian pilates mama

    Gross, Renata’s out trying to advertise the goods. Someone should tell her she’s not going to meet a rich man at the farmers market.
    I love how the books are all artfully arranged under your lil mountain goat. Someone needs to teach him how to organise them by rainbow colours and it would be perfect.

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  5. bridgetannie

    Sorry to say but as a pre school director, we cannot make exceptions to the potty training thing. It does not matter what we thin or how advance the child is. It is a regulation from the State. There is no option.

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  6. Big Fan

    I’m sure your gorgeous little Hummans is totally normal. He’s probably super intelligent like his big brother and is waiting to talk until he has something very important to say. However maybe you should take him to see a pediatrician just to get him checked out? Not that you’re worried of course, after all you are an experienced mom, but just to make sure those meany haters can’t accuse you of neglect or anything. (As if! You are the most dedicated mom I know!)

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  7. NotaCatLady

    Obviously exceptions have to be made, otherwise how would Dougie Howser have gotten through medical school at 17. Put humus in a pull-up and tell them he is just a thoughtful child. He might cure cancer or autism or something if he just gets started.

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  8. Poppy

    I have to disagree with the other commenters here, Renata looks as if she has been juicing, her head looks way too small for her body -an obvious sign of steroid use. Its a good thing Ty broke up with her when he did, imagine the “roid rage” if he had stayed with her longer before ending it.

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