This morning Röbert was up bright and early because he had planned a lil’ adventure for us. I was so looking forward to it; a day long hike with the children up to a gorgeous waterfall for a picnic, then hike back down the mountain. You know me, that is right up my alley! Unfortunately I woke up with a terrible my grain and had to stay home in bed. What a pity!
Luckily for me, the my grain disappeared quickly, so I went into town to get a lay of the land. I had to walk into town, because Röbby had the car, and it is really hot here. I hate perspiring!
The town is cute but smallish; just a general store, a bait store (really, is that a thing?) and a kind of shabby chic restaurant called The Cozy Nook. Isn’t that sweet? I wandered into the Nook (that’s what the locals call it!) and had a cup of coffee with a group of gentlemen who meet there for breakfast every morning. They were so sweet and welcoming!
I bought the paper and was going to walk back up to the house when one of the men I had just met stopped and offered me a ride. Air conditioning? Yes, please! I was telling my new friend, Jeremy, how I sometimes think it would be better if we didn’t have to wear clothing at all and he asked if I would be interested in a little excursion to a naturalists’ club he belongs to. For those of you who don’t know, or are too inhibited to understand how the world works, a naturalists’ club is a nudist club where no one wears clothes at all but everyone doesn’t care that you don’t wear clothes. I always strut around the gym dressing room naked, so I knew it wouldn’t bother me. It sounded wonderful, and Röbby and the kids would still be gone for hours.
I wasn’t even nervous when we got there. After all, my body is pretty hot, what with all of the working out that I do. I quickly stepped out of my darling little tunic and shorts and raised my head with pride and started to cry. I just couldn’t stop crying. The other nudists were all hideous with fat asses and jangly bits and untrimmed parts and general disregard for the sensibilities of the people who might be viewing them.
It was very upsetting.
I cried so hard that Jeremy took me right home. No more nudity unless it is in an exclusive resort filled with beautiful people. And I mean beautiful on the outside. Inner beauty doesn’t count.
I hope Röbert comes back with something tasty for dinner!