Library Time

This morning at Spin to Win one of the ladies said she has been taking her toddler to free events at the library.  I was so excited.  I have never gone to the library before and had no idea it was free.  This afternoon I took Hummus over to “Story Time with Miss Jill”.  Unfortunately when they say that children must be accompanied by a parent or caregiver they really mean it and were quite strict about that rule.  I couldn’t even sneak off to the loo without him.

Has anyone ever seen one of these library story times?  They are just dreadful.  The library is all bright colors and not a bit of subtlety in its decor.  The other parents were all pretty awful.  This woman who had dreadful curly hair and with two toddlers and a small ugly baby in one of those scarf thingies sat down right next to me and introduced herself.  What could I do?  I gave her a cold nod and ignored her, just as I would have in high school.  Her name was Maia, which is just a vulgar, vulgar name.  Ugh.  I get it, earth mom.  Was your mother upset when you insisted she stop calling you Carol?

Miss Jill is an unattractive older woman.  It is no wonder she is still a “Miss”,  with her bushy eyebrows and sturdy shoes.  Not only did she read us a story about a horrible mouse who lives inside some poor family’s house and keeps demanding cookies, but she took out a guitar and sang three long nasally songs.  The children all got up to dance and do these stupid hand movements and Maia next to me was doing them too, in the most shameless, show-offy manner.  Look at her everyone, she knows how to do toddler dances.  Then, just when I thought I could escape, they got out scarves and let the children wave them about like absolute hooligans.  I was handed one too, but I just put it neatly on the ground next to me.  I couldn’t even stand to touch the filthy thing.

It finally, blessedly, ended and as I was scooting toward the door I saw an absolute vision in expensive looking white skinny jeans, a cute print top and fabulous driving mocs.  We were both just hiccuping with relief to see another normal person among all of these poor people and hippies.  She had to dash to go pick up her son from sailing lessons, but we traded twitter handles and plan to meet up at another library event.  I feel like I can mention them to Röbby when he is nattering on about me spending too much money.  Free events make me appear very thrifty!

The poor little dope was just loving the lowbrow entertainment.

The poor little dope was just loving the lowbrow entertainment.



7 thoughts on “Library Time

  1. Equestrian Pilates Mama

    Toddler time is just the worst. Libraries only still exist for poor people who can’t afford to buy books, so it’s no wonder that it was filled with common folk.
    Lol, I’m dying to know Maia’s children’s names. I bet they were horribly weird. She would be the type to call them after a plant, or even a wizard or something, lol.


  2. krystal liet

    it doesn’t make sense why the libary is so ugly with bright colors etc and then they force you to stay with your child? if their forcing you to stay there why would they make it sooo unpleasent!!! i am glad you found a kindrid spirit there wearing a cute outfit.

    and maiai sounds like the type of person who would let her kids pick their own names so they’re names are probably spongebob or squarepants or whatever commonfolk childs are watching these days.


  3. suzy

    This sounds so dirty! I heard they will let anyone, just anyone touch the books and even take them home! Awful.

    Honestly, Lah, I thought you were smarter than that. I’m a little disappointed.


  4. marymary

    At least kids don’t mind stuff like that. I hope hummus had a good time.
    (It’s so weird that I care about these children).


  5. Claire Annette Reid

    Darling, I once went to one of those library houses when Pandora was on her “education” kick (thank GOD she outgrew that!) Like you, I thought it was a drop-off camp for earthy people and attempted to leave Pandora and Kennington (he had just learned to crawl, so annoying) but I was chased down just as I was backing the Rover out of the handicapped spot. The birkenstock babe insisted I couldn’t just leave the children (even though I left Paddy with the Fjällräven full with bottles diapers and lunch.

    Anyhoo, the one I visited was over in Gaiatown (have you ever been out there? Great place to get your organics and they have a diVINE farmer’s market on Saturday mornings) So, the place was full of those “mama” types, almost all wearing those weird fabric thingies on their fronts with smelly little yarper inside. It was last summer and everyone was wearing tank tops. I nearly tossed my lunch when they started doing those little movements with the colored scarves and every single “mama” had a wildebeest in her armpit! I cannot. Worst. Day. Ever. When I told Timothy about it, he forbade me to ever take the children to that place again and finally agreed to the Swiss au pair I’d been requesting since Pandy’s first dirty diaper.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s