Oh my stars! I had no idea how complicated cooking a big meal could be. First of all, did you know that you have to actually thaw out a frozen turkey ahead of time? Well you do. Also, it turns out, turkeys take quite a while to thaw. Also, it actually takes hours for a turkey to cook, even if it is thawed! Sleeping in is not recommended. By the time I figured all of this out it was about 2 PM and our guests were arriving at 4, so I decided the best thing to do was to throw the turkey into the microwave, but it wouldn’t even fit. I put it in the oven, frozen, and turned on the broiler. I guess that doesn’t work very well either because the house smelled terrible and the entire top of the turkey was scorched and it was still frozen. Unbelievable. I decided I could cut it up and cook it in pieces in the microwave then piece it back together with toothpicks but I couldn’t cut it because it was really frozen solid. I finally took it out to the garage and chopped it into pieces with Röbert’s axe but it looked pretty bad and had a bunch of splinters on it from when it hit the floor. Oh, and there is a package of turkey guts inside that flew out. What on earth is that all about? Who would ever want turkey guts? Disgusting.
When I put the first piece in the microwave it smelled up the house to high heaven. I decided the best thing to do was pretend that we thought we had been invited for the entire meal, not just dessert, next door. I think Karen was thrilled to have all 17 of us!
Now we are home again and I am all snuggled up in my most cuddly clothes. Making a nice meal for your family is exhausting.